BHS#1: Better that we Break

Prologue

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Prologue
Mila Amaris Albarasin

Present Time:

Inalis ko na ang name tag ko at nagpalit na ng damit from scrub into jeans and white shirt. I looked at the clock dito sa locker room namin, it's past ten in the evening. I feel exhausted but satisfied because I get to bring a new life safely. Apat na bata ang pinanganak ngayong araw na ito and it was really magical, lalo na iyong unang pag-iyak nila.

"Doctor Laudencia, mauna na po ako." Tinanguan lang ako ni Doc tapos ay umalis na kasama ang isang nurse na katatawag lang sa kanya. Ilang co-nurse ko pa ang nakasalubong ko at nagpaalam bago ko narating ang parking lot. I click the alarm of my car and get in.

Kaunti na lang ang sasakyan na bumabyahe ang iilan pa sa nakakasabay ko ay mga jeep at tricycle, th sky was already dark and the only thing that gives light was the moon and the lighting, I guess it's about to rain. A loud thunder roar and few seconds after tiny raindrops fell on the windshield. Binagalan ko ang pagmamaneho ko at binuksan ang radio, a familiar tune played, I can't help but smile bitterly. Naalala ko noong unang araw ng Pebrero. Four years, six months and eleven days ago. What happened was so vivid that every time I close my eyes it feels like I can still see him; like I'm still with him.

I know that if we give this a little time

It'll only bring us closer to the love we want to find

It's never felt so real; no, it's never felt so right

I turn the volume up and sing along. Five years ago this song gave me so much – just like what they call it today – feels. A guy I met made me fall in love with this song and whenever I hear this, it makes me wonder on how he is now... if he still remembers me... if he knows that I looked and waited for him.

I turn off the radio and stop the car's engine. Bumaba na ako and get my things from the back of my car. When I was about to put the key in the keyhole something made me feel oddly familiar with this moment. Parang déjà vu. I shook the feeling off and enter my house, ang una kong ginawa ay i-on ang switch ng ilaw malapit sa pinto and when the whole room was filled with lights, nabitawan ko ang lahat ng gamit ko at napatakip ang kamay sa aking bibig because of shock... because of the person lying on the floor, swimming in his own blood.

"Oh my gosh!"

February 1, 2012:

"Mila, take care of yourself, okay?" Mom reminded me again. Three times na niya 'yang sinasabi sa akin habang pababa kami ng hagdan. Of course I'll take care of myself.

"Mom, ano pa bang pinag-aalala mo, Nanay Belen, she'll take care of me. Pati na rin si Simon and Charles. They'll both be here naman." Simon and Charles are my personal bodyguards. The house is full of alarms and seven CCTVs tapos ay may security guard pa kami – na bukod pa kila Simon – that's why it's kind of funny na nag-woworry pa si Mommy na maaaksidente ako. It's not like I'll be going out of this house.

"Pwede ka naman kasing sumama sa amin, France iyon."
It's not like I can go and see the Eiffel Tower, sa hotel lang din naman ako. "I'll work on my painting, Mom. So you can both go; I'll be fine."

"Amara, tama na 'yan, let go of your daughter, baka ma-late pa tayo sa flight." Mom let go of me and picks up her bag, lumapit naman sa akin si Daddy at hinalikan ako sa noo. I hugged him. "We'll be back in two weeks. I'll miss you, princess."