Hats Off (kevedd)

Frat Parties and Drunken Kisses

AN:Hey don't be afraid to comment. Comment all you wan they seriously help me to keep going. Comment on the story let me know what you think. Am i doing good so far?

"W-what are you doing here?" Edd stuttered holding the sling of this bag with both hands from nerves.

"For the meeting of course. I've been going to this group since before I even enrolled here."

"They take highschool students?" Edd looked around and took note of all the young looking people in the support group. 

"Hey young people need support too. You know." He walked over to a chair motioning for Double D to sit down with him. They had a good ten minutes before the meeting started and everyone was talking among themselves, paying little mind to Nat and Edd's tiny commotion.

Double D sat down gingerly, wanting to disappear into the floor rather than talk about why je was here, but sire enough Nat asked, "so what brings you here to this group?"

"I would think that the reason would be obvious."Double was unbearably red faced. Kevin Barr, seemed like a very sad reason to go to a support group. He is hopping on day he won't need this group at all, That Double D will be confident enough in his sexuality to stand on his own two feet. 

"You have a point."

The meeting started not too long after that. It began briefly with introductions. Why you're. If your out. Favorite band name. Things like that.

Then they got into the core topic of the group meeting. Trust and Truth.

At first it began as an open conversation about stigma, stigma against sexuality and homosexuals, but then it went on to a talk about what the truth is.

"The truth is that no one is going to have the same journey in their sexuality. You need to be true to yourself, that's the truth you'll ever need. You should feel free to like who ever you want to like. As long as it's consenting and abiding by ethical law. Human decency ethical law, that is. Then why shouldn't you?"

Was Edd lying to himself and to other by keeping his sexuality secret. It's not like heterosexuals need to claim their sexuality verbally in order to be socially acceptable. Why should he? But Edd knew that wasn't the same. He was deliberately hiding and avoiding topics of conversations. 

By the end of the meeting, Edd felt angry with himself to the point of tears. The rage within him making his hands shake as he said goodbye to the fellow members and signed his name on the email list. 

He was going to have to go back to the Dorm and back to lying to Kevin, only saying half truths. Picking and choosing his words so he is not discovered. Just like he had to do when he was at home, at peach creek.  

To Edd, it seemed like his inner torture would never end and no one could know. 

"hey Double D wait up," Nat said jogging towards him as Double D put his face in one of his hands holding back frustrated tears. Nat seeing this rushed faster to him, extremely attentive, "Double D, Buddy, you alright?"

That was it. That one question. The way he said alright oh so obliviously, Edd couldn't take it. "No. No I am not alright. I'm a deceiver. Can't even have the guts to be true to myself and now i have to continue to lie about it everyday because he'll know. he'll know and then he'll hate me, disgust, despise me even. I wont't be able to..." Edd groaned at himself and at his words. 

"Who's he? Is it Kevin?" Nat said knowingly, eyes filled with sympathy and understanding melancholy.

"How? Oh please don't tell him. Please! I know it's wrong-"