(Old/Cancelled) Oneshots!

...

Let me tell you two funny stories that happened to me, even though I am not-so-happy.

The first story, for the sake of the establishment's sales, I'll try to not embarrass them that much by letting you guess what its name is.

Entering the establisment of my childhood, I waited for my turn in line.

After 10 minutes or so, I finally got to order what's just right for my budget, enough to satisfy my hunger and get me home.

"Welcome to ********, sir." The young cashier asked.

"Umm... one spaghetti and a coke please." I replied, almost tasting the Pasta in my mouth. Delish~♡

"Alright, one spaghetti and a regular coke."

"Yes please."

It was all going as planned, until the lady gave a surprising question.

"Drinks, sir?"

"E-EHH?????" I reacted inside my head without letting her know what's wrong.

I was confused.

"Didn't I already order one coke? *mental sigh* Let it be, beginner's fault, must be a newbie."

"U-umm... one coke."

"Dine in or take-out?" She smiled.

"A-ah.. take-out."

"Look at you, smiling. Think you're the best huh? The best of the best? You wouldn't beat Ash in a Pokémon battle. I'm mentally screaming so hard that Naruto can't even 'believe it!' Tch... I'm sorry for cursing you inside my head, erase, erase, erase, *mental slap*"

Then, me and my cousin went home.

~>☆♡~>☆♡ ~>☆♡~>☆♡ ~>☆♡~>☆♡

The second story, another business establishment. In the department store, my family were now finished with picking stuff, so they were going to the counter to finally purchase what they picked.

I roamed around aimlessly, trying to solve a rubik's cube, then ended up in a very sticky situation.

"Hello, sir." The man said.

"Ah, hello." I replied.

"Looking for shoes sir? Here, this are **** shoes, they are very comfortable to wear..."

"Oh shit." I thought. "It's one of those talkative ones. How am I gonna get out of this situation fast without being insensitive?"

"If you look inside, sir, you'll find the sole to be thick, but soft. The shoes are also very flexible..."

I just nodded to everything he said.

"Ahh, mhm, yeah. That's good, I'm just looking through shoes, heheh."

"Would that be enough to be able to make him let me leave?"

"And look here, sir. We've got other shoes, this shoe has *I forgot what it was* on them."

"Shit, should I converse with this guy? Ah, fuck it."

"Actually, I'm more of a plain-shoe boy. I don't really like the ones with designs on them."

"Ah, shit. Now you did it. There's no backing down now."

"Ah, the plain ones. So, you don't like this sir." He pointed at the black shoe with 2 intersecting lines on front of it. "Then, this other one might be interesting." He pointed to the shoe just next to it.

"FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

After 2 more shoes or so, when he was finally letting me go a bit...

"Ah... okay then." I just left. My family was looking at me.

When I got back, they asked me stuff like "Oh, ano nang nangyari?" Which doesn't quite mean, but translates to "So, what happened?"

I just told them the whole thing while supposedly solving the rubik's cube.

Thank you for reading. Writing these oneshots gave me enough time for my optimism to kick in.