Pale (Kellic)

5. Hair

Today was the day.

Today is the day they are going to shave my head.

I couldn't find enough strength to get out of bed this morning, I was too afraid and too sad. The room seemed colder than usual today, so it just felt fitting to wrap myself in my blankets and lay there until someone forced me out of bed anyway.

"Kellybear, you know you can't just lay in bed forever, right? You're gonna have to get up and face today with a brave face sooner or later." I heard my mom whisper to me as I lay in bed. She came in earlier this morning since my chemotherapy treatments for the month are over.

"How about later?" I mumbled, pulling the blankets even higher above my chin.

"How about now? And as soon as you get up, me and you can go to the cafeteria and get some breakfast together. How does that sound?" She said with a caring smile. I wanted to argue with her more but I just couldn't.

"Fine, I guess." I said sadly, sitting up in my bed and immediately reaching for my jacket to keep me semi warm. My mom had a proud look on her face as she helped me get up and get my jacket on, and soon enough we were slowly walking to the cafeteria after the nurse made me take some of my medicine.

"How was your week while I was away? Did you feel any better than last months?" She asked me as we were walking. I knew she didn't like to see me in pain but why does she like to ask about it?

"It wasn't any better, but it wasn't any worse, not really that is." I said softly.

"Hmm" she hummed, "Did I miss anything new? Did anything crazy happen while I wasn't here?"

"Well, Melanie got to go home for the weekend, so we hung out a little yesterday with Oliver and I met a new person, she seemed alright. We also got a new nurse who is very nice, you should meet him soon." I said with a smile, poking at my oatmeal. I wasn't very hungry this morning.

"Who did he replace?" She asked me, nudging me to continue to eat my oatmeal. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Sylvia."

"I always liked her! She may have been a little old to be working with a moody teenager like you, but she was very nice nonetheless."

"I like the new nurse a little more, he's funny. She wasn't."

"That's not nice, Kellin." My mom scolded me, pushing me slightly as a punishment, but it was more playful if anything.

"Sorry." I said, laughing softly.

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"Kellin, relax. Breathe. In, out. In, out." My mom said next to me as she held my hand.

I just nodded at her.

It had been almost two hours after we had finished breakfast when they decided they wanted to shave my head.

"Are you ready?" The nurse, who's name I had no idea of, asked me.

I didn't say anything, but I guess that was a yes in her books.

I felt the vibration of the clippers against my head and that was all it took for the tears that I had been holding back to come out. I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to cry as much.

My hair, the only thing that made me kinda cool.

It felt as if it took forever, hours, but it only took about 5 to 10 minutes.

"There you go, all done." The nurse said to me with a smile, patting me on the back.

I didn't say anything but I did get up and go to the bathroom to look at the damage.

As soon as I got to the mirror, I began to cry. But I only cried for a minute, because I began to laugh.

"I look like a peanut!" I sobbed, crying and laughing at the same time.

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I don't know how long I was asleep, I couldn't find a clock near by. I did know was that my mom had left though, she left me a note.

I had laid down right after I went to the bathroom, I just wanted to kind of sleep way any sadness that I had from it.

My hair was gone and everyone would notice.

Sure, I could wear a beanie, but a beanie still doesn't cover the fact that I don't have hair.

I huffed to myself softly and rubbed my hands on my hairless scalp.

"You know, you don't look bad. Also, look on the bright side. Once you're better, your hair will grow back nice and healthy too." I heard a voice say. Vic's voice.

I didn't say anything, I guess I'm just bad at replying today. But I did smile at him.