THE PREVIEWS WILL BE IN
NO PARTICULAR ORDER.
I hate that I read that damn journal.
God, why would I do that, when I could've continued to run away from the truth? When I could just blame you for his death, for his abuse, and blindly point at the obvious catalyst? When I could just try to justify the way I'm so fucking broken on the inside, that the only way to relieve this never ending ache, is to hurt everyone around me, and blame the root of it all.
I want to blame you for everything.
Because if I don't find anyone to blame, I might just lose my mind — because fuck, can't anyone give me a reason? Why everything was destroyed, and what's left are just skewed versions of what they used to be? What reason can you possibly give me to make everything go back to how it used to be before you happened?
You caused this pain, so why do I have to feel sorry when you're miserable? Tell me. You ruined my family, so why do I have to care about those bruises they've left that you've been hiding?
Fuck, I don't want to feel sorry for you.
But despite the desire to erase you from my sight, and the weight of what happened that day, what my mum and I had to go through, his death — my mouth and hands have always felt heavy when I could only watch everyone hurt you.
I hate the fact that I still feel sorry for you.
