Dilemma

Chapter Three

"¿Te gusta la comida?" Mama Santos asks. I smile and swallow my food.

"¡Siempre!" I say and she smiles.

"¿Què tal?"

 "Bien. Estoy sacando buenas notas. ¿Tú?"

"Nada. Yo trabajo y come. ¿Cómo es el bebe?"

"El bebe está muy saludable."

"Fantástico. ¿Tú puerdonas Ángel?"

"No."

"¿Por qué?"

"Porque no puede."

"¿Por qué?"

"Él es equivocado."

"Verdad," she concedes and Ángel groans. I glare at him and Papa Santos smacks him on his head.

"Tú hiciste un bebe con Lizzy, pero tú hiciste mal," he says and Ángel looks down at his plate.

"¡Yo cometé un error!" he shouts.

"Nos sabemos." Mama Ramos says, adding salt to the wounds.

"You all need to accept that things happen! I love Lizzy and I will get her back and I don't need all of you on my back!" Ángel says, leaving the kitchen. I follow him to his room and sit on his bed.

"I don't know why you didn't think that your mother wouldn't give you grief about this."

"She has been giving me grief, but I thought she would stop now that you're back."

"I'm not really back am I? We aren't together anymore and I don't trust you for shit."

"Don't remind me. Why do you keep bringing that up?"

"Because it's the truth."

"I want to have one minute where we don't talk about this. Let's be civil and not make anymore negative comments."

"Why?"

"Because I would like to enjoy that you ran after me to make sure I was okay."

"First of all, I didn't run and secondly, I wasn't worried about you at all. I don't care about your feelings."

"Oh bullshit."

"You're foolishly holding out for my love. You won't ever have it again. As long as I live you will never have it." He grabs me and kisses me fiercely, cutting down my walls as quickly as I built them. I lose myself in his kiss and smile. He pulls me to him and I yank on his hair as he assaults my mouth.

I feel like him and I are floating high above everyone in our own little world in this one powerful kiss. My defenses are down and I know that my love for him will never leave me. He tries to pull me even closer, but my stomach gets in the way.

I catch myself at that and yank away from him. I slap him across his face and he smiles at me as he rubs his cheek.

"Told you that was bullshit. You still love me and I will get you back."

"Don't ever kiss me again! We aren't meant for each other and I can't trust you enough to try again."

"One small mistake and you're done! I wish I never said it, but I can't take it back!"

"There was a life involved." I spit through clenched teeth.

"I know! My child is involved and I know I made a mistake, hell my mother keeps pointing it out, but I love you and I will love our child too. You are scared because of all you've been through in your past relationships, but you know you can't push me away too. I will do right by our baby and you if you let me."

"I can't," I say, tears welling up in my eyes at the pain in his voice. I can see tears in his eyes as well and I can't stand to look at him. I get a pain in my heart and rub my belly unconsciously, looking away. "I love you with all of me Juan and I wish I could, but my heart has been hurt by you once and I can't put myself out there like that again."

"I promise I won't hurt you," he says, pulling me into his arms.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I say, as tears roll down my face. I pull out of his arms and he lets me go. I leave him in his room alone and wipe my eyes before I face his family. They all try to look innocent except Mama Santos. She looks right at me and frowns. I avoid her gaze and ask Nina to take me home. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"You know Mama isn't mad at you right? We all heard the yelling and you didn't do a good job of hiding the tears. We love Ángel, but we all know how you are. We get how untrustworthy you are and we don't fault you."

"I'm pretty sure she's mad at me now."

"No. She is still pissed at Ángel. So he kissed you huh. Did it knock your socks off?" she asks laughing.

"Heffa!" I yell, smacking her arm. She hits me back and I pinch her side.

"I'm gonna wreck you goofy wench!" she yells, clutching the steering wheel tight.

"His kiss was amazing! I swear my toes tingled."

"It must have driven you wild, because your hair is out of control."

"Darn. I don't even remember him running his fingers through my curls."

"Y'all are gross. I have yet to lose my virginity and you're pregnant with my niece. And y'all just had a make out session in the room beside the kitchen. We could hear y'all you know that right?"

"We made noises?! I swear I thought we had only kissed for a few moments. I didn't know we had been kissing for such a long time."

"Oh yeah y'all were. I was so happy for y'all girl. Too bad y'all not getting back together."

"His fault," I say as she pulls up at my apartment building.

"It's his fault y'all broke up in the first place, but it's your fault that y'all aren't already back together now and anticipating the birth of your daughter. Yours not his. Those psycological problems in that head of yours." She tsks and I jump out her car and run to my apartment. I wave as I shut my door to my home and run to my bedroom to lie down. I open my bible app and read until I drift off to sleep.