Exile: The Book of Ever

17: Of Two Minds

"But what your parents didn't add to your bedtime stories, my dears, because they didn't know—or didn't care—was that there were others, other faithful, who arrived too late." Thayne paused before continuing.

"And thus begins the story of Ammon."

Thayne touched his forehead, an odd, hesitant swipe, as if he felt ill.

"I was born in the cold, in the dark, where the sun shines at midnight and the moon graces the day. They were late, my ancestors, late in deciding to join the faithful at Lebanon, late in arriving there, late in deciding what to do when it became clear that the Church had moved on without them. Late, even, in finding their final home. The story of their struggle I'll spare you; suffice it to say that years later, a small group of stragglers arrived in the wet, ravaged northwest continued north into Denali. They thought to make their home in the south of that land, where the winters are milder and the fruit of the sea could support them, but they weren't so lucky.

"The land had already been claimed, by a vicious clan of apostates eager to dispatch contenders for their resources. They fought; some died. The survivors fled farther north, where it is not so easy to survive, and Ammon was born.

"I was raised on ice, and salmon and mountain berries, and in fear of the dangers of the wild, for despite being deep in the wilderness my people refused to admit belonging there. They never truly assimilated. They refused the help of the broad-faced natives who still dwell in the far places.

"The priesthood was...weak," continued Thayne, waggling his jaw. "They assumed that food and heat were the worst of their problems. They failed to account for the fact that Denali, too, had its Damned."

Ever heard a sharp scoff from behind Thayne. Chy, who had been pacing around his cell slowly while listening to the Prophet speak, came back to the bars.

"Poor little Prophet," he said. "Had to deal with some Damned. You and everyone else alive."

Thayne appeared to ignore the remark, but Ever thought she saw a twinge in the muscles of his face.

"The larger animals were the most destructive," Thayne said. "The ones that were already vicious became more so. When I was a boy a grizzly got through the gates in the middle of the night. Eight people died."

"You are known as a Saint, in Bountiful," he said, looking at Ever. It wasn't a question. Ever made no response. "I wasn't so lucky."

"The Ammonites grew steadily more fearful of the Damned, and in time they feared all changes brought on by the Fall—changes godly as well as ungodly."

Here Thayne grinned and removed his spectacles. His smile was almost as disconcerting as his eyes; he had a wide mouth full of yellow teeth.

"My eyes didn't change until puberty," he said. "Imagine waking up and having your sister scream at the sight of you. Imagine running to the water bucket, breaking the ice and seeing your reflection in the morning sunlight, an uneven cloud of milky blue obscuring your pupils. But your sight remained. And your family grew afraid, as over the ensuing days that cloud grew, covered your eyes, and you ceased being their child and became something...other.

"They cast me out. A boy, younger than all of you now, a boy without even his first growth of beard, alone in the trackless wild. I called to God, then—I asked the Savior why he and Heavenly Father had forsaken me—but no answer came. I was alone. Utterly, inarguably alone."

"Is this where we're supposed to feel sorry for you?" asked Acel. "Where the people whose families and friends you've just killed are supposed to hear about your terrible childhood and, what...pity you?"