Map Of Hearts (GirlxGirl)

E l a i n e

•Chapter 7: Embrace•

It had been 10 minutes now. Elaine still sat on the cold floor, her head rested on the door. Some students had tried to enter but, meeting with the broken image of a girl, sitting in front of the door, they gave up, not wanting to get involved.

She found the time to relax in that 10 minutes. She thought about everything. How her insecurities got the best of her, always leaving her in dark. She forgot what it was like to be happy, think happy. It upset Elaine more, if that was even possible.

Here she was, on the cold floor, probably looking like she had just been dealing with a hit and run. She hated herself. She hated she was different, she hated how people despised her, the stares, the whispering...

She found herself wishing she was just an average girl with average life more than once. Lately, with the school starting and all, she felt as if it was all too much. That she didn't deserve it all. What was her fault anyway? Her birth? She began to think so.

She was the black sheep of her peers and it didn't help she was also a shy, silent girl either. Because she let it all in, never respond back, causing all the knifes thrown at her to cut her from inside, breaking both, her heart and mind.

She found it disgusting, how her bullies would forget her name in a years time and how she would wake up, in the middle of night, in cold sweat, screaming their names, for the rest of her life. She found it disgusting.

Then with the haunting thoughts of their face, she drifted into her darkness again; restless and exhausted from the 17 years of her life.

• • • •

Elaine woke up or more exactly came back to reality with a thud on the back of her head. She frowned and waited for the intruder to go away and use another toilet. However, they seemed quite eager to open the door.

"The hell..." Elaine slowly got up, nearly falling on the floor again in the process, she held onto the knob. Taking deep breaths she opened the door, her eyes squeezed dear life, as if shutting her own would prevent the stranger from seeing her mess.

"Shit..." The intruder exclaimed and a second later Elaine was involved into a tight, strong hug. Elaine still kept her eyes closed, her body tensed. The stranger began soothing her back.

"Hey, it's okay, I am here now." Elaine slowly cried into their shoulder. She felt scared, tired and angry all at the same time. She had been through hell and still couldn't recover from it.

"I-I..." Elaine tried to speak however, her own words choked her. Surprisingly, the hug really did helped and Elaine felt herself give in to the warm hug.

"Shh... don't." But Elaine wanted to speak, she thought she ought to speak, explain herself. She has got used explaining herself to others. She believed if she didn't they would judge, despise.

In the process of explaining she also perfected a talent. Lying. Elaine was good at it. That happened when you needed to explain the long sleeves and swelled eyes. And to Elaine's fortunate or rather unfortunate, they all bought it. They all thought she was okay when in truth, she was actually getting worse day by day.

So Elaine pulled back, tears still streaming down. Her mouth was opened but no word came out. The shock and the astonishment got her tongue. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

In front of her stood Ren Wiley in all her pride and glory.

"Hey." Ren had said. Although the concerned look on the other girl's face, Elaine stood still on her place, wondering. She was weighting the reasons behind all of this. Ren Wiley, came after her? Why? The bell didn't even ring yet... did she she left the lesson to check on her?

Was Ren that much of a bully? Elaine felt herself getting angrier by the thought of it. And a part of her, a tiny tiny part of her was disappointed for some reason. She acted all sweet and kind to Elaine for what? To deceive and still tease. Elaine stood there, utterly confused. But she couldn't actually care, could she? Nobody did before, Elaine didn't gave them any reason to, or she had anything for them to care.

"I just wanted to check on you." Ren scratched her neck, seeming to also felt this awkward tension in the air. Elaine still couldn't decide which. She tried to find the answer on the infamous girl's face that once resembled cold stones. Now, here she was, seeming she actually cared.

"So are you?"

Elaine stared. She had to get used to the idea of people actually speaking with her, not anyone else. She then spoke for the first time. "What?" Ren smiled and Elaine felt like the dark haired girl's dimples had created a force so strong, Elaine couldn't look away. She felt hypnotized.

"Feeling any better?"

Elaine couldn't deny the relaxing hug. This... girl in front of her actually helped her calm down or let it all out. Whatever you call it. So she thought, Ren at least deserved something to know Elaine's gratitude. She has been helpful, she at least deserves to know, Elaine thought.

She is pretending...

However Elaine smiled. For the first time in weeks. Ignoring the voices was tough, she knew that since she was a little girl, but she felt herself doing it with much more ease with the other girl's presence.She smiled to the infamous girl and shocking it was, an actual genuine smile.

"Thank you."

Ren seemed to have a blank face. She looked like her mind was somewhere else, as she continued staring at Elaine. Every bit of Elaine's body trembled under the stare. She didn't want to anxiety to come and visit her now. She tried to act strong, not to actually break down in front of Ren, others. Ren might have seen Elaine cry but she didn't even knew a thing about the demons inside.

You are so ugly, she can't even look away.

She ignored.

"Umm... you are staring." She decided to state. Ren blinked a few times and shook her head, apologizing.

"I... I am sorry. Just... I was wondering your name?" Ren managed. She looked either nervous or was a really good actress as Elaine thought earlier.

"It's Elaine."

Ren had an awe struck smile on her face that actually managed to put a smile on Elaine's face. Act or not, Elaine felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Yet a part of her doubted all and it really bothered Elaine. She didn't want to sound bitter but once everybody who she thought left or changed, she faced with dark, cold side of life. Since then, she had her own walls up.

She is just acting. She doesn't care.

"Elaine." Ren breathed out and Elaine felt things move inside. The way Ren spoke gave chills all over her body unlike few others who actually speak with her. It was as if this girl in front of Elaine knew all the keys to her locked doors. Without actually trying, she was managing to get inside Elaine's mind, constantly. Elaine couldn't figure if it disturbed her or...

"I'm Lauren, but call me Ren please." Lauren... Elaine though and rather not spoke out loud unlike the other girl. Her name was Lauren. It suited her, beautiful. Just like-

Stop it! She is lying to you!

"Ren." Ren had a stupid smile on her face as Elaine spoke. And Elaine for the second time that day- as she ignored all the voices, screaming to her- smiled at Ren. Even though it wasn't an actual wide smile, it was something.

Something Elaine thought she had forgotten long ago.