Innocence//l.s

Chapter Nineteen

It was a stumbly-type of day at work.

I tripped on stage twice, nearly fell over another, and was off beat for half my dances.

Kendall and Cara even asked me if I was alright.

I don't know why I keep messing up.

I sighed and brushed my hair out of my face, leaning back against the cool wall behind me to alleviate some of the ache in my feet from dancing in heels all night.

"Fuck," I mumbled to myself. Shitty night is an understatement.

I sank to the ground, glad that I had 23 minutes until the next song was on for me.

"Harry!" I heard Steven's heels clicking towards me, "What is wrong with you tonight?"

He had a type of anger in his eyes I hadn't ever seen directed towards me.

"Uhm, sorry?" I replied back dumbly, I don't respond well to anger...

"You're sloppy," he hissed, "off beat and down right painful to watch," he paced around the hallway, "Do you think my customers pay to be turned off out there?" He glared at me.

"That wouldn't be reasonable... So no," I tried.

"Are you getting smart with me?"

"No sir," I blinked. He's really pissed.

"You couldn't even if you tried," he hissed, "That's why you're a stripper right? Too dumb to be anything else?"

"No..." I tried not to let his words get to me, but my intelligence was something I valued.

"Just get back on the floor, and don't disappoint me again," he pointed in my face, walking off.

Fuck.

I cut my break short, returning to the dance floor with a better focus and an even less clear mind. All Steven did was make me anxious, and even though the stage is my comfort zone, I feel horrible. I feel like everyone is watching me.

Well, they usually watch me, but now it feels like they're judging me. Looking, not as a former of entertainment and arousal, but as a form of mockery.

Maybe I'm being dramatic.

Now it just seems like every time I meet eyes with someone in the crowd I'm going to stumble again.

Fuck. What is wrong with me.

I closed my eyes as the curtains rose for the second time that night, leaning against the pole to start my set.

The song blasted through the speakers and I started moving my hips to the subtle sounds, I could hear the other dancers behind me following my steps.

It was a nice smooth type of song, an easy dance.

Work by Rihanna.

As the chorus hit I wrapped my leg around the pole and swung once around.

I liked dances like this, dances where everyone is in sync. It flows nicely and is visually pleasing. It's just more than usual you know? It's just, I can't describe it.

I ceased my rambling and focused back on my dance. If I stumbled again I think Steven might shank me.

The song ended and the lights dropped. This was my favorite thing about performing. When the set ends and the lights fade, all you can hear is the light murmurs from your audience and you just know that you're appreciated.