A New Life (River Phoenix)

Reality Check

"It wasn't my car." I interrupted.

"Can you just let me finish?" He asked me, clearly defeated.

I nodded and leaned against the bathroom door, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You can yell at me if you want, Iris already called me this morning to yell at me about what happened." He said.

I sighed and walked past him, heading towards my room.

"I'm not going to yell at you." I told him as he followed behind me. "I just don't know."

"About what? Me?" He wondered, sitting on my bed as we entered my room.

"No, not that." I answered. "Can I just get ready for the day and then we can talk about it?"

He was about to reject my request until I sent him a pleading look.

Quickly, he nodded and exited the room, leaving me to get changed.

-

I finished getting ready and headed into the living room.

Keanu sat on the couch watching The Simpson's while River laid face down on the floor.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, causing River to look to me.

He got up and followed me into Gus's room, that was now unoccupied.

I waited for him to sit against the wall as I closed the door behind us, locking it so no one could interrupt.

"Okay, let's talk." He said, his eyes steering away from me.

"Okay well, I need to be honest," I started. "But you can't get mad. I just need to know the truth."

His eyes immediately met mine as he sent me a confused but saddened look.

"What do you mean?"

I debated for a second whether or not to confront him on what Gus and Rain had talked to me about. Truthfully, I already knew the answer.

"A while ago," I started, recalling Gus and I's conversation. "Gus approached me in private. He said he was really worried about you doing a lot of drugs on set and, I don't know, I mean I didn't really know that was a thing."

River stood up and narrowed his eyes.

"That's not even true!" He protested, though we both knew it was.

"I'm not going to be mad or even tell anyone." I told him in attempts to calm him down. "It's just that he's not the only person who has talked to me about it and, I know I'm never around or anything, so it's not like I would know what you were doing."

River looked astonished; his eyes widened and he gasped, glancing around the room.

"Well, that's just a ton of rotten lies." He defended, but I soon cut him off.

"Does Rain lie?" I questioned.

My statement was enough to truly capture his attention.

I don't think he knew what to say. I spoke again.

"I'm just asking you to be honest." I told him.

"I did a couple of stupid things. Big deal." He admitted, sounding annoyed.

"Stupid things or reckless things?" I questioned. "Because taking Gus's car when you're high and crashing it into someone else isn't stupid, it's reckless."

"Oh my god, it was an accident." He defended.

I rolled my eyes lightly, but of course, he noticed.

"You don't believe me." He said, sounding offended.

I threw my hands up in defense.

"Well, how would I know? At first you said it was all a lie and now you admit to it. So, what is it?" I asked him.

He didn't answer.

"If you have a problem we can just,-"

"Are you drunk?" He asked me, cutting me off.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, beginning to stand up.

By now, he was getting on my last nerve. Did he really just ask me that?

"I don't have a fucking problem!" He yelled, heading towards the door. "This is the most pointless, stupid conversation I've ever had in my life."

Before he could leave, Gus walked in and looked to us.

He examined River's distraught face and my angry one; he knew what we were talking about.

"River," he started, but River cut him off.

"Oh, just save it." He insisted. "Spare me the drug talk. I already got one, so you can all stop treating me like I'm a child."

Gus's face immediately changed; his mouth dropped and his eyes widened as he shook his head.

"You know what, River?" He started, and I knew he was getting mad. "You're right. We should let you make your own decisions; run around and spend all your free time getting high and wasting away your life. So, go do it."

Gus swung open the door, cocking his head towards it so River knew to leave.

The moment the door slammed against the wall, Keanu ran to the doorway. He examined the scene unfolding in Gus's room, and stayed quiet.

River stood, emotionless, examining Gus's face. You could almost feel his fragile heart dropping into the ground.

"But don't make everyone you love watch while you slowly kill yourself."

Everything stopped.

I didn't know what to say.

Gus had already said everything he could.

But River .. he was different.

He looked to both of us and fell to his knees in tears.

"I'm sorry." He cried, holding his face.

Immediately Gus, Keanu and I got up and walked to him, crouching down in front of him.

"You need to get help, Riv." Gus told him calmingly.

"We love you, River." I said. "And we want you to be around for a long time, not just a couple of years."

He calmed himself down as we spoke, looking up to us.

Slowly, he rested his head against my chest and I could feel his tears wetting my shirt.

"We're going to get through this man, I promise you." Keanu stated, scuffing up River's hair.

I rubbed his shoulder and tried not to cry; the reality setting in to what was truly happening to the person I loved.