His Daughter (Wolverine Story)

Saying Goodbye

  Two days had passed and I was rushing around my room trying to find something nice to where, but nothing too formal. Today was my dad's funeral and I wasn't ready physically or mentally, but we had to leave soon. The funeral was taking place an hour away so I had to get up kind of early, I had already done my hair and everything, but I was still trying to find something to wear.
  "Ah-ha!" I exclaimed to myself, pulling out a black dress that was pretty but not too out there. I threw it on, threw some black sandals on then looked in a mirror to see how it all looked.
  There was a knock at my bedroom door, which made me jump a little since it seemed so loud and sudden, "Kris, are you ready yet?" Logan called through the door.
  "Um..." I looked at myself one more time in the mirror, then took a deep breath, "Yeah, I think so," though I could hear my voice crack a little. I was hesitating walking out the door, my mind telling me that I had to fix something on my dress or I didn't look good enough to leave the room but I looked fine. I knew that it had to be my nerves getting to me and I just didn't want to go to the funeral.
  Finally, I opened my bedroom door and peeked out, then realized that Logan was waiting for me in the living room. When Logan heard me enter, he turned around and glanced at me, smiling. Logan was wearing a black suit, which was the only time I have ever seen him wear a suit which made me think that he probably didn't do it often- or ever-, he looked really nice.
  "Uh, how are you doing?" Logan wondered.
  I smiled, "I'm fine," I was kind of lying but I think he already knew that I was nervous. I decided to change the subject, "You look nice."
  "It feels stiff," Logan tried to move around in it.
  I giggled, "I think it's suppose to feel like that."
  "Good to know," Logan huffed but was still smiling. "Alright, well we have to go so we won't be late."
  Logan was walking toward the garage but I quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him toward me so he turned around and looked at me, narrowing his eyes in confusion. "Logan, I-... I'm scared," I admitted.
  Logan sighed like he was waiting for me to admit it, then he bent down to hug me. I hugged him back which made me feel a whole lot better. "I'll be right beside you the whole time."
  I pulled back and smiled at him, "Thanks."
  Logan nodded, "You ready?"
  I took one last deep breath then nodded. We both left the school in Scott's car, the motorcycle was finally fixed but we weren't taking it to a funeral, and we started driving towards the city.

  It took an hour, as it was suppose to, to get to the funeral. We arrived at a church and there were quite a few people but it wasn't too full. I stepped out of the car and noticed Tommy, which he saw me too.
  Tommy walked over to us, "Hey, glad to see you guys. There are a few people waiting to talk to you," he was looking at me.
  My stomach seemed to knot up but I nodded, anyway, "Okay."
  With Logan beside me, I followed behind Uncle Tommy toward some group of people. The group looked at me and smiled, "Kris, right?" An older woman was asking.
  "Yes ma'am," I nodded.
  "I'm sorry for your loss, Michael was a good man," the woman dipped her head toward me the woman seemed to end the conversation, and she turned away towards her group.
  "Michael is your dad, right?" Logan whispered toward me, trying to get caught up.
  "Yes," I tried to keep calm but my throat was getting choked.
  "Kris?" I heard a man in front of me say my name but he was standing behind the group so I couldn't see the man. The group of mourners spread out like the Red Sea to show a familiar face.
  "Grandpa!" I ran toward him and into his open arms.
  "Hey! I haven't seen you in forever," my grandpa chuckled.
  I pulled away from the hug and looked into the elder's gleaming eyes, "It's been a couple of months," I corrected. I heard footsteps behind me so I turned around and looked at Logan. "Oh, grandpa, this is Logan. Logan this is my grandpa, my dad's... dad," I laughed softly.
  Logan, politely, held his hand out. My grandpa was not that formal so he grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him into a big bear hug. I smiled but noticed that Logan looked extremely awkward, which made me giggle quietly. After giving two firm slaps on Logan's back, my grandpa pulled away then glanced at his watch. Being around my grandpa made me forget where we were but when the old man looked at his watch, his face seemed to melt into a sad expression. Grandpa took a deep breath, "I've been trying to keep strong, your dad would want me to but it's been hard..."
  "I know grandpa, me too," I took his wrinkly hand to console him but it was also to make myself feel better.
  "The funeral is about to start," my grandpa informed us. "Let's go and take a seat... It's an open casket so you can go see him," grandpa's eyes were glistening like he was about to cry. I was on the verge of tears myself, but I followed him into the church, my hand gripping Logan's.
We walked in, everyone had just finished glancing into the casket and were taking their seats. I walked as slowly as I could, trying to brace myself, then I let my hands rest on the casket. It was a joyful thing to see my dad's face again but it was like it wasn't his face, it was pale almost completely white and the coffin made everything sink in what happened. I thought there would be burns, given what happened, but they were covered by his long suit he was wearing. My eyes officially quit holding back the tears and they started pouring out, but I was not going to hold them back- not this time- even if everyone was staring at me, feeling sorry, this was my chance to say goodbye to my dad and my old life. I slid my hand into my dad's casket and held his hand which was cold and dry, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, dad, I didn't say it aloud, I kept it to myself. There were still people waiting to say goodbye to him, so I turned around to find a seat, Logan laying his hand on my shoulder. We took our seat in the front row and I leaned my head against Logan's shoulder for comfort, still crying.
  After everyone said their goodbyes, the priest entered the room and everyone got quiet so he could speak. "We came here today to mourn Michael Ryan, who was a great son, father, cousin, husband, friend, but mostly a great man. I know we're sad that this young life ended so tragically and sudden but we need realize all of the great people he has brought us and focus on the good and the happiness of his life and not focus on his leaving," the man in the robe was preaching. I tried so hard to pay attention and be respectful but my mind wondered off, too upset to control whatever I was thinking. Since I wasn't paying attention, the speech went by fast.
  When it was over, everyone started heading to their cars while a group of men carried the casket to a car. I hopped into Scott's car with Logan and we followed the main car with police cars making a clear path for us. After ten minutes or so, we finally arrived at the cemetery and everyone got out. We walked to the dug up grave and the priest said a few more quotes from the Bible but there wasn't a big speech since there already was one in the church. After they were finished speaking, a few of the closer relatives or friends grabbed a flower from the bouquet and dropped it into the grave, after the coffin was lowered. I was the last one to grab a flower so I walked up to the hole that made the grave and held the flower over it but my hand started shaking. If I dropped this flower it felt like I was saying it was okay he was gone, but it wasn't, I wasn't ready to say goodbye and I never would be. I started wondering if I held onto the flower long enough, my dad would know I wasn't ready so he would come back.
  "Kris," the gently deep voice dragged me out of my reverie. I sighed out a weak breath then closed my eyes and dropped the flower, almost angrily. There were a few more speeches and voices repeating, like a broken record, "I'm sorry for your loss".
  It was sweet of them to say so but I didn't want to hear it. Finally, everyone started leaving but I kept staring at the grave, my soul eating me alive because I knew it was my fault. It felt like seconds passed but there was barely any people, everyone had left and I hadn't noticed. Grandpa was still around, and Uncle Tommy, so I turned away from the grave and decided to listen on their conversation.
  "Are you okay, Kris?" Uncle Tommy asked, but, unlike everyone else, he didn't show sympathy which made me feel better. I knew he was sorry but he didn't want to rub it in, which I respected.
  I opened my mouth to answer but grandpa did for me, "Of course she's not alright, her father's in a hole!"
  After Tommy rolled his eyes, he glared at grandpa so the old man turned toward me, "I'm sorry, Kristine."
  I breathed in, rasping, "I'm okay, really."
  They decided to move on, which was good but grandpa turned to Logan, "So, no one told me who you were. They mentioned your name, but what relevance do you have?"
  "Tone it down a little," Uncle Tommy snapped, luckily answering before anyone of us had to. "And it's complicated, I'll tell you later but not here."
  "Yeah... We should probably go," Logan swallowed hard. It was interesting to know how strong, tough, brave Logan was but when it came to something like this, it was not his specialty.
  After grandpa told me that, if I needed a place to stay that I could stay with him, no one objected to us leaving, so we did, after I told grandpa I would talk to him later. We finally left the cemetery and headed back home, so I tried to leave all the sadness at the cemetery and put my head and heart back together, focusing on now.