Old Friend (Kylo Ren Fanfic)

Chapter Sixteen

Kylo woke up breathing heavily and covered in sweat, but this time there was no one to comfort him. He buried his face in his hands and sighed.

Why did he keep having the same premonition if Shira was already gone? He could feel their connection becoming weaker every second that passed. He wanted to get into her head so badly to say he was sorry...

"I'm sorry." He whispered to himself, even though it wouldn't help at all. But he couldn't. Shira had to be safe, and he just brought danger into her life. He wasn't good for her, and thinking of it just made him hate himself even more. Because maybe she was good for him, too good for him. Someone like Kylo didn't deserve to be with someone like Shira.

Shira was... She was light, even though she'd never admit it. Somehow she always understood everything, as if she had the power to stand in anyone's shoes. It was a mistake to tell her she didn't understand him, but maybe it was a way of letting her go. All this time he just wondered why did she stay.

Why would she think him worthy of forgiveness? Maybe, just maybe, deep down he knew that if he screwed everything up she'd leave. And he'd learn how to let her go. How to live without her.

But right now Kylo didn't feel like learning.

He felt like hitting himself with a damn light saber for being so stupid to ever fall in love with Shira. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why her, really? There were so many other girls in Coruscant, yet he fell for the one he was supposed to love like a sister. God, he didn't even know when it all started. It was like she was always there, and he couldn't find a reason. Just one reason to get over her.

His eyelid's felt heavy, but he didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to dream about her because it would make him believe she was there; even if it was for a few hours, he knew that waking up would e more painful than ten blaster shots.

***

"WHERE IS DAWNRIDER?" Snoke's voice blared across the room, bouncing across the walls and ringing into Kylo's ears. He resisted the urge to cringe. He watched the supreme leader's deformed factions shaking with rage.

He caught a glance of Hux and saw him stifling a smile. That prick.

"She left last night." Kylo replied coldly.

"He let her go." Hux retorted. "I'm not stupid, Ren, I know you two were involved romantically."

Snoke sucked in a sharp breath. "And why didn't I know of this? You let go of one of the only Force users in the galaxy and you just say she left?-"

"She is not committed to the Dark Side-"

"And so are you. If you're ready then you should have killed her."

Kylo didn't reply. "Get. Her. Back." Snoke demanded. "And this time she'll learn not to mess with my commander's head." And he cut off the transmission.

Kylo stood up from his kneeling position. He felt like just killing everyone and hiding somewhere... Di it even matter? He'd probably kill himself as well.

"Get Phasma on this. Two of her best trackers and four backups." He commanded t Hux.

Hux chuckled. "Woah, there. That's your call. You piss her off, you bring her back. I have bigger thinks to care about." He said with a smirk and left.

Fuck it, Kylo thought and started slamming his saber against the wall, not caring about the scared looks some storm troopers gave him. He had to obey the supreme leader or else he was dead. He cared more about Shira, of course, and knowing these guys they'd probably kill her as a punishment.