cheater - narry

3

Niall sighed looking down, he didn't want to be here, he could just easily leave but he can't. He loves Harry deeply, but he hates Harry. So it should be easy to leave, but at the same time it shouldn't. It was all just messy in Niall's mind, and he is really scared he might make the wrong decision, he isn't really in the right place of mind right now to make a decision. It's just a mess. Niall cleared his throat, swallowing the lump thats in his throat, avoiding Harry's intense stare.

"Umm.. I-I'm gonna go get some rest." Niall said pulling on the ends of his sleeves-he did that when he was nervous.- Niall turned around walking to the stairs, he shouldn't be feeling like this, he shouldn't be feeling scared to be in the same with his lover. Niall walked into his bedroom, he sat on his bed, sighing. He was beyond tired of this feeling, the feeling of betrayal and hurt. He constantly felt that way, and he was sick and tired of it. It's almost to the point where he's use to it, almost to the point where he feels nothing, to the point where the feeling as made him so numb. Niall isn't depressed or anything. He knows things will get better, but he doesn't know how it will get better. He doesn't know how it will get better. He wants Harry to be there with him once this is all over, but Niall knows Harry doesn't deserve to be there.

And really, Harry didn't deserve one bit of Niall. He did before, but he doesn't anymore. Harry has betrayed Niall's trust and loyalty, Niall has given him everything his mind and body can give and threw it away like it was garbage, that now all he deserves from Niall is a kick in the butt, but he wouldn't do that. Niall is to kind and humble, he wouldn't hurt anyone even if his life depended on it. And maybe that's what's wrong with Niall, he's to kind, he's to kind and venerable for anyone. Precious.

Niall stood up to take off his pants, he climbed under the blankets. Niall knows Harry is still hear, because he knows how it sounds like when he's alone; it's quiet. It's so so quiet. But right now he can hear the faint volume of the tv, changing channels every five seconds. It's almost strange to Niall,

Niall just laid there looking at the ceiling, -it's already been a few minutes- he actually misses Harry so much. He felt his chest clench, it felt like there was a war in his chest, fighting and fighting until he just couldn't take it anymore. He tried to fight it, he really did. And it usually works. But he can't help but get up from the bed walking out of the room as fast as his trembling legs can take him to relieve the war that's going on in his chest. He walked downstairs, stepping lightly his small bare feet touching the cold floor with each step-he really should remember to turn in the heat-Niall reached end of the steps. Walking slowly to the living room where Harry was currently watching tv.

And he just stood there, at the enter of the living room. Watching Harry, admiring him. Admiring his hair, his eyes, his lips, his cheeks, even his pimples. Just everything, because Niall thought he was so perfect, He saw a very beautiful man. Yes, Harry was very beautiful but his heart was cold. His heart is so so cold, and his mind is sick.

"Hi..." Niall said looking down at his feet, fiddling with the ends of his sleeves, making one side hang off a bit. Niall heard the tv volume lower but he didn't dare look up.

"Hey princess" Niall heard Harry's deep and raspy voice, Niall honestly thought it was beautiful, to hear Harry voice all sobered not with the nasty slurs. Niall looked up slowly, to see Harry already staring at him. Niall felt his chest unclench- the last gunshot coming from the fingertips of Harry's. It was over, the war. For now.

It was kinda awkward but it was nice. Niall took the time to finally appreciate Harry presence, he knew he would regret even talking to Harry but he felt like he was gonna go crazy if he didn't when he basically had a chance to speak with sober Harry. "You wanna watch movies and have cuddles?"

Niall furrowed his eyebrows, he was majorly confused. Is this the Harry he fell in love with or the monster. Honestly he didn't know anymore. How could one change so fast, is this real? It will pass, don't fall for this. Niall thought but shrugged it off, he gave Harry a little nod and made his way to the couch. Harry got up to change the movie into something more interesting, Harry changed it into a Disney movie, since he knew Niall liked Disney movies. Niall watched as Harry ran his fingers into his hair, then lifting his arms up stretching. Niall smiled at Harry, he smiled cause he looked cute while stretching until his eyes moved down his body that's when his heart shattered and it didn't stop, it broke over and over again making his chest physically hurt, he remembered that this person in front of him that is standing very cutely is in fact a dirty cheater. Niall saw the hickeys trailing down from his belly button to god knows where on Harry's body when his shirt lifted. Niall felt sick, he felt sick to his stomach, he felt sick in his chest, he felt sick in his head, he just felt sick everywhere. His chest burned also with his eyes, and his throat shrink'd making it hard to breathe. But again, he shrugged it off, hiding the fact that Niall saw that he quickly looked at his hands as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

He felt the couch dip beside him, then a pair of strong firm arms scooping him up placing him on a lap, he knew it was Harry since he was the only one here. He was the only one here. Niall felt his heart hurt, it never stops hurting. His chest was in pain, it was burning. Burning with jealousy and regret. Of course he knew he would regret this but he didn't think it would be this bad. He didn't think his heart would brake, again this bad.

Niall, calm down. He thought to himself. But he can't calm down, because this is not right. This is not fair. None of this is. Niall knows that he doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve to be sad, he doesn't deserve to be broken. He's done everything right in life. Niall deserves the universe but unfortunately he can't have the universe, but he's not complaining because he did have the universe, he had all the stars and all the planets he even had the sun, but just for a little while. He had Harry. He was in love, they were in love. It was perfect, they were perfect. And to him that was his whole universe, but he still has Harry, but his universe is broken now. It's damaged, He does have the universe, but he has a broken universe.

He doesn't know what he's done to deserve a broken universe.

------

Hiya

I'm so tired but I'm coping.

So did you like this chapter? Did I make your heart hurt, because my heart hurts. Suffer with me.

Sorry I hate this chapter because I haw bad grammar and snjsodb

-Jenny.