Frigid (Erwin Smith x Reader)

Chapter 6 - Suspicion, Part II

"(Y/N), are you sick or something?" Sasha questioned you, closely examining your face while holding your shoulders.

"Yeah, you've been acting really weird lately," Jean added as he looked at you skeptically from a distance. "You're usually not... friendly. Or smiling."

You smiled widely.

"What are you talking about? I'm absolutely fine," you said, laughing a bit.

"Did something happen?" Armin inquired thoughtfully.

"No," you said, still smiling. "Nothing's happened."

Sasha released your shoulders and slightly recoiled from you.

"Okay, now you're really scaring me."

You shook your head.

"I'm serious, everything is fine," you cheerily said. "You really shouldn't worry."

Jean raised his eyebrows even higher than they already were.

"If you guys would excuse me, I've got to go take care of some stuff," you said, pointing behind you with your thumb. "I'll see you later!"

"Yeah, sure," Sasha replied.

Turning around, you speedily walked off to the room you were staying in. Upon reaching your room, you were relieved to find that there was no one there, and you sat on the bed and ran your fingers through your hair as you let out a sigh.

You hated having to act like that just so you wouldn't be court martialed. You knew that Commander Smith was doing what he could to help you get rid of suspicion, but it seemed that your change in character was raising suspicion even more.

You didn't want to get kicked out of the Survey Corps, or worse, put in jail. According to the letters from your siblings, jobs are hard to come across now that most people have moved to the inner walls, and being part of the Survey Corps was a job that fed you and paid you well enough to send home a considerable portion of your salary. You can't get kicked out. Especially not now. You needed to keep trying to play the financial role of your parents the best you could. Of course, you would never be able to replace them, but it is something that is needed to be done.

You sighed once more, wondering what your mother or father would do in such a predicament. Your mother was always cheery, so she wouldn't raise any suspicion like you were. Your father was not necessarily stoic either, and he was good-natured and determined, so this wouldn't be a problem he would likely find himself in either.

You stood up and paced to the window, looking out at the others.

Do I even belong here? I'm apparently different.

You blinked a couple of times, then left the room, going to the office of the only person at this point who knew about all of this.

You found yourself again at Commander Smith's office door, knocking twice on the wood.

The door was opened, and Commander Smith was standing at the door.

"(Y/N)?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, Commander," you said. "I need to discuss some things with you."

"It's fine," he replied. "Come in."

You walked in his office and sat where you sat the last time you were in here a few weeks ago.

"Thank you," you said as he closed the door to his office.

"What do you need?" he asked, sitting down on the other side of his desk.

"I don't think this whole 'impress people so they don't suspect you of corruption' thing is really working," you said. "Others are asking me if I'm sick."

He slightly raised an eyebrow.

"I apologize for coming to you about this, I realize you're not some sort of therapist," you continued, "but you're the only one who knows about this all."

He was silent for a moment, before leaning forward and cracking a small smile.

"You must have made quite the image for yourself during training," he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows.

He ignored your countenance and continued.

"Well, you don't want to raise suspicion in the ranks," he said, "especially amongst the soldiers. Rumors there spread like wildfire."

You were quiet.

"So should I just go back to acting as I usually do then?"

"I suppose. I have to say though, it was somewhat humorous to see you cheery."

He was laughing at you?!

Commander Smith gave a quick laugh in response to your reaction. You must have shown it in your face.

"It's nice to know that you don't have a problem with laughing at others," you muttered.

"It was nothing personal," he stated, sitting back in his seat. "Just an odd sight to see."

You were both quiet for a moment as both of your faces returned to a normal resting position. Then, you leaned forward in your chair.

"I don't understand why you're helping me."

"It's complicated," he replied, as if by default. "You're a good soldier. I would hate to see you go to waste in a prison."

"But I'm just a soldier- not a captain or anything. I don't see the point of you going to such trouble to help me. Isn't this jeopardizing you at all?"

He was silent.

"Like I said, it's complicated," he repeated. "There's many things going on right now that you aren't aware of."

"Yet you told me that I am considered a suspicious soldier by the other officers... No one else knows about that, right?"

"No one else knows about your suspicion, but I can't tell you anything regarding my motives right now. It wouldn't be a wise decision on my part."