Frigid (Erwin Smith x Reader)

Chapter 4 - Kitchen

You stood before the assembly platform with the other nervous trainees, at the end of your three years of training, all asking the same question you were:

Is this really when we choose our division?

As Commander Smith finished his speech, you heard the words, "if you wish to join the Survey Corps, stay where you are. All others are dismissed to their barracks."

A sea of beige-coated people moved around you to leave the area.

You turned your attention back to the main podium. The commander's eyes flashed over you as you remained glued to your spot.

"I'm not afraid," you told yourself, looking around the area at the few other trainees. "Well... I am afraid. It would be stupid not to be. But I don't care if this is what I agreed to or not. This is the right thing to do."

The officers then all stepped down from the platform and began to leave.

Commander Smith then approached you covertly.

"You can quit now if you would like," he whispered to you. "I realize that I can't force you to sacrifice your own life- you do have your siblings. No one would say anything if you left now. I would do what I could to stop your transgression from resurfacing in the court."

You were quiet for a moment, taking in his change in attitude. You then shook your head.

"I've come too far not to go through with this."

His eyes glanced across your face, and he then walked away with a curt nod.

You pondered his actions for a brief moment.

You then walked back to your cabin for the last time, knowing you would be departing soon.

The others in your shared lodging were excitedly chattering among themselves as to their plans as soldiers; however, those few who were going into the Scouts, like you, were quiet and kept to themselves.

It made sense though- you picked the regiment with the highest fatalities and the least amount of growth, so it was only natural to have a sense of solemnity.

Packing your few belongings that you brought with you to the camp, you then laid down on your cot, thinking of your brother and sister.

Your sister had grown into a young lady, learning how to keep the house and garden while you were away in training. She remained quiet and to herself, and you were able to see remnants of your own mother in her as she grew older. Meanwhile, your brother grew to be more introverted after the day that put you all in the position that you all were- but he did his best to create a second income for the three of you, knowing it was needed. After all, a meager trainee's wage isn't enough to support three people. He secured a job as a decently-paid apprentice to a carpenter in a town in the inner ring whose business was booming due to the influx of citizens after the attack of Shiganshina and a few other villages in the former outer ring. It seemed to provide him with needed social engagement, and you knew he was a hard worker.

That night, your brain refused to allow you to sleep- even though you knew it would be needed. You rolled over in your cot, pulling your blankets over your face to block the moonlight that was leaking through the gap in the curtains.

It seemed as though Commander Smith was attempting to act as a friend when he spoke to you after the selection ceremony. He told you he would do what he could to stop your transgression from resurfacing in the court should you not choose the Scouting Regiment.

"How odd," you thought. "I seem to be missing the point as to why he feels the need to provide me with benefits. Why would he assure me that it's okay not to join the regiment? Does he not consider me capable? I was at the top of my trainee class- I'm well qualified, according to the military standards..."

After a few hours of staring into the pitch black atmosphere created by your cot blanket, you lowered the blanket away from your face to see the sun's haze barely appearing over the horizon.

Sighing, you uncovered your body from a sleepless night, swung your body over your bed, and quietly began getting dressed so as not to wake anyone else.

Sliding your jacket on, you pushed open the door of the barrack with your shoulder and stepped out onto the stairs. You stepped off the bottom stairs, making your way across the large dirt path to the mess hall.

Although you knew no other soldiers would be in the mess hall yet, you decided to help the chef prepare plates and such before breakfast.

You pushed open the door and quietly stepped in, smelling cooked eggs and bread throughout the entirety of the room. Walking over to the entry to the kitchen, you spied a table of soldiers in a side room out of the corner of your eye. Not wanting to seem nosy, you ignored them and walked into the kitchen. Besides, what they were talking about most likely didn't concern you.

Seeing the chef behind a counter, you walked up to him.

"Good morning. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Yes," the chef replied, not looking up from the chopping block nor questioning your early arrival and offer of help. "Take the stack of dishes out to the main serving area."

With a quick nod, you moved around the side of the counter and grabbed a stack of plates off of the larger stack. You would make multiple trips to get the plates out- if you took them all at once, they'd probably break and you would end up being yelled at by the chef.

Upon your third trip, when you stepped out of the kitchen door into the main area, you cast a quick sideways glance to the soldiers still congregated around the table, but you did not stop moving to the table where you were stacking the plates.

When you looked though, the well-known Commander Levi Ackerman was watching you walk. You immediately averted your eyes and placed the plates on the table, turning to scurry back to the kitchen to grab the last stack of plates.

However, upon turning around, someone firmly grabbed your arm. Turning your head to see your captor, you looked up to see Commander Smith. Peering slightly past him, you noticed many of the other commanders had left the table.

You turned your attention back to Commander Smith and saluted with your free hand.

"That's not necessary," he spoke in a hushed tone. "What of that conversation did you hear?"

"None of it," you replied quietly. He stared at you intensely. "It most likely didn't concern me, so I had no reason to listen to it. Besides, as you could probably tell, I was preoccupied."

You made a sideways gesture with your head to the stack of plates.

"Well, whatever you heard, you are not to repeat it," Commander Smith replied, releasing your arm. "I'll know very quickly if you did."

You nodded.

"Of course. I understand."