Through The Spyball

Understanding

Sophie Foster sat at one of the largest tables she had ever seen along with Mr. Forkle (now Magnate Leto, but seriously, he gives people migraines remembering that), Alden, Fitz, and all of the members of the Collective (or, as Sophie sometimes called them, not really the leaders but really the leaders of the Black Swan). They were at Everglen, conversing about security precautions against Neverseen. Sophie could guess that the only reason she and Fitz were there was because Mr. Forkle knew they would throw a fit if they weren't.

Sophie knew Dex and Biana were right outside the door, listening in, though there wasn't much to listen to. The group had sat in an awkward silence ever since Mr. Forkle announced that he would have extra security around Sophie from then and on. She needed more protection, he had said, because she could open the cache, and the Neverseen would do anything to get at Sophie.

Sophie didn't want to be here. That was obvious to pretty much everyone in the room, but she couldn't do anything about it.

I'm saving lives, Sophie reminded herself, though she was starting to doubt that sitting around talking about her own safety was benefiting anyone. Especially...Keefe.

Sophie silently cursed at herself, her hand clenching into a fist as anger at herself boiled inside of her. She hadn't checked on Keefe in days. He could've been hurt or dying and the people around her were worried about him coming and abducting her in her sleep. Sophie had been so busy helping to stop the plague and her cognates training with Fitz, all of her off time was sleep and food. And occasionally bathing.

Sophie was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't notice Fitz trying to grab her attention.

"Sophie!"

Her head snapped up, her wide, brown eyes searching all of the faces of the elves around her. Magnate Leto's face was glaring at her, his eyes narrowed.

"A penny for your thoughts, Ms. Foster?" Mr. Forkle asked simply, oblivious to her troubled thinking.

Sophie's mind was still in its brooding mode. "You still have pennies?"

Mr. Forkle sighed, defeated. "What's the matter? Sophie?"

After a pause, Sophie spoke. "How can you want to hurt other elves?" She asked.

Mr. Forkle blinked. "Well, they hurt people, in our world and the mortal world."

"You've hurt people," Sophie responded quickly. "Made them feel unworthy. Don't you ever wonder why all of those elves from Exilium and the dwarves and gnomes joined the Neverseen? Because they are all in the same boat. They all felt...out of place."

Sophie looked down at her hands. She had once felt that way too, and she had hated every minute of it. Every minute of being misunderstood and awkward and a freak; no one deserved to feel that. Yet there were hundreds and hundreds of people who felt that, undeserving people who were thrown away because they were talentless.

But that meant that Keefe must've felt out of place, too. He felt different, and he had been distant, but Sophie had just dismissed it as him trying to keep the fact that he was joining the Neverseen a secret. But now that this thought had suddenly came to her, his reasons had suddenly seemed more...unintentional. Keefe had felt misunderstood.

The sad part was, though, that it made sense. Keefe had practically missed out on part of his childhood, the part that was spending time with a loving family, while all of the other elves around him had that. And Keefe had tried so hard to fight his emotions, and fight the emotions of others, with jokes and an act. He had tried to hide until he couldn't anymore and he left. He needed truth and relief, a relief he would never get from Sophie or anyone else here.

Sophie slipped out of her chair silently, her mind far off, and all of the other elves staring at her.

"Where are you going?" Fitz asked, standing up too.

"Home," Sophie said. "But I'd rather go alone," she added when he started to walk with her.

"But-"

"Maybe it's best if you let her be," Mr. Forkle interrupted. He gave Sophie a knowing nod and a look, which made her wonder if he knew what she was thinking, or he had slipped into her mind again. "She has been very busy, she should get some rest."

With one last lingering look at Sophie, Fitz let her go and sat back down.

Don't worry, Sophie transmitted to him. I will-I'm alright, Sophie quickly rephrased her words with what she hoped looked more or less like a reassuring smile. It must've, because Fitz turned his attention away from her.

Letting out a long breath she didn't know she was holding, Sophie left the room. She pressed her back against the back of the closed door and closed her eyes. And even though Keefe was gone, she felt like he understood him even more. Like she had attached a string between them, she was slightly starting to understand Keefe's intentions.

Because she would do the same.