Situation

Chapter 18: No Kill But No Kanda

      I press my cheek against Kanda's and whisper, "You look beautiful when you cry."

He replies, "I would say the same to you, but half the time the reason you're crying kind of ruins it."

I know what he means. It's rare for me to cry in happiness. When I cry, it's generally because I'm feeling pathetic and worthless, or in one case about to kill myself. Crying was practically a lifestyle for me, and it's only just beginning to change. I wrap my arms around his waist, "Is that at least half a compliment?"

"Yes, it was," he says, his arms circling my body and pulling me closer to him. I smile, "I've noticed something."

He looks at me as I nuzzle into his neck, and turns off the water pouring into the tub, "What would that be?"

"You seem to like being next to me, and having our bodies together."

Kanda looks at me like I was an idiot, but soon softened into a sweet, genuine smile, "Well, yeah, you're my boyfriend, but I like to comfort you. It means a lot when you calm down when we're together."

I never really had thought about it like that. For me, needing him to be with me when I was breaking was a burden on him. It wasn't something that I thought brought him joy. I say, "Really?"

He nods, "Allen, you're gorgeous when you cry, and it has great meaning in my heart when you come to me when you're upset." His hand moves from the small of my back to my stomach, rubbing circles over my navel.

I smile at the gesture, putting my small hand on his muscular shoulder, and I can't help but let a single tear slide down my cheek. Who knew that one day, I would be sitting naked in a bath tub with Kanda, pregnant with his baby, and had actually seen him cry? No one would have ever predicted that, and I don't blame them. Quietly, I say, "Thank you."

He doesn't reply, but kisses my crown instead.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

I keep my eyes closed as I wake up, breathing in the sweet, intoxicating scent of Moonlight Mist. It was abnormal for me to awaken curled up half on top of Kanda, but he must not mind since he didn't push me off. My chest, arms, and head were all piled on his torso and my hips and below were beside him. From his steady breathing, I assume he was still asleep, and I tentatively open one eye.

I was right. His eyes were still closed and his hair was fanned out on the pillow his head was resting on. I absolutely loved his expression when he sleeps because he looks so peaceful, like he hasn't a care in the world. Then, his expression changed ever so slightly and even though his heartbeat and breathing was steady, I knew he was awake. I raise up and pout, "Why can't you ever stay asleep?"

He smirks, his eyes still closed, "How did you know I was awake?"

"Your face changed. It was barely noticeable, but it looked different," I say, my hands planted on his chest as I glare at him.

His eyes open and our gazes meet as he says, "I didn't know you had such an eye for detail."

"Are we going to have the 'I'm that gay' discussion, again?" I roll my eyes and sit down next to him while he straightens. The bluenette tucked a strand of hair behind his ear absently and said, "No, we're not, and for the record, being gay isn't something to be ashamed of."

I nod, "I know, but I want to hear you say it since you couldn't last time."

He sighs, "Fine, I'm gay, too. Are you happy?"

"Yes, I am," I reply, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before glancing at the clock. It was eleven in the morning, which means it's the first of December. I had nearly forgotten! I had meant to go to the no kill animal shelter today. Generally, I try to go on the first day of every month, and a couple more times if I can. Since I wouldn't be going on any missions for seven months then I guess I'd have more time to visit. I stand and walk into the bathroom, taking a pill and beginning to brush my teeth.