Cravings (girlxgirl)

We Can Try

                “I never told you my bra size.” Her face was red and she wouldn’t look at me.

                I chuckled and said, “I’ve taken so many of them off the damn thing is practically imprinted onto my finger. Also, I have a good eye for things like that. You know, I’ve got experience there.”

                “I don’t want to hear about it.” She muttered darkly.

                I just shook my head and lifted her face up to look at me. “Do you believe me yet? You’re different. I’m not going to disappear before you wake up. I’m not going to forget your name. I’m not going to leave when I find someone who looks better, if that was possible.”

                “You can’t fool me with your smooth talking.” She growled and I stole a kiss.

                She just melted into me and soon I noticed her trying to deepen the kiss. As much as I wanted more, now wasn’t the time, so, much to both of our dismays, I pulled away. “I’m pretty sure I could, but I’m not fooling you or trying to smooth talk my way into anything. I mean it. Every word. You’re different, Sara. You’re special. You’re…you’re what I want in my life. One night stands were fun for a while, but…not now. Not anymore. Not when I have you.”

                “Really?” She looked so nervous. Hell, I was nervous too. How long had it been since I felt like this? High school? No, this was different. It was scarier and more exciting and just…different. I had never felt like this. Sara really was different from everything else in my life.

                “Really. And you have to remember, I was your one night stand too, how do I know you won’t leave me on a whim?” I smirked down at her playfully.

                “You don’t.” She said and I just blinked a few times in shock. She laughed and dropped her head back to my shoulder and looped and arm around my waist. “I’m joking. I don’t have any plans to leave you any time soon. You’re just the thing I need in my life too.”

                For now. The thought echoed horribly in my head. I closed my eyes tightly and begged for it to go away. I didn’t want to think of that. The idea that she could leave me any day scared me. I already had gone though enough with girls screwing me over, I didn’t want Sara to hurt me too.

                “Devon?” Sara’s quiet voice brought me back to the real world and I looked down at her. “What’s wrong?”

                “You scare me too.” I whispered.

                I think she understood, because she buried her head into my shoulder and I heard her say, “Don’t worry.”

                If only wishing made it so.

                We sat there for a long time; the sun was starting to dip below the horizon and the sky was lit up with oranges and yellows. It was beautiful. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather be with at that moment than Sara. I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.

                How had I changed so much in such a short period of time? How had I become someone that I used to swear I’d never become? If someone had told me I would be cuddling with a girl and dating someone instead of just screwing two months ago, I would have laughed and told them to get their head checked. And here I was. With Sara. I liked her, a lot more than I would ever admit. Maybe this is what falling in love was like. I couldn’t remember. Maybe it wasn’t that I couldn’t remember though, maybe it was just something that had never happened to me.

                No.

                I wasn’t falling in love.

                I still didn’t believe in love. I believed in tolerating people for long periods of time. I believed in the power of lust. I believed in finding things you like about people and putting up with things you hated until you couldn’t take it anymore.

                But I craved Sara.

                In more than lustful ways too. I craved her in all sorts of ways. I of course lusted after her, she was gorgeous and great in bed. Spectacular really. But I wanted to just be with her. I wanted to lie in bed with her head on my chest and a hand on my stomach. I wanted to read cuddled up on the couch. I wished I could dance with her at bars or clubs or wherever. I wanted her for all sorts of reasons.

                I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice anything unusual until Sara sat up and looked around.

                “What is it?” I asked, marveling at how her hair looked with the last rays of sunlight catching it just right.

                “I thought I heard something.” Was all she said as she continued to look around.

                And then I heard it. A whimper. It was quiet and I could barely hear it, but I did. “Check under the bush there.” I pointed, wishing I could do it myself. I didn’t know what was in there, and I didn’t want her to be in danger or anything, but with my fucking cast I couldn’t really do much. “Be careful.” I added when she stood up and walked over to the bush.

                She bent down and pushed aside branches and I heard her let out a sigh. She reached around to pick something up and all I could think was Please don’t be a baby. Please don’t be a baby. Please don’t be a baby. I wasn’t sure that would ever change. I wasn’t the parent type.

                When she turned around I was afraid to look, but I did anyways. I was able to let out a sigh of relief. It was a puppy. Australian Shepherd by the looks of it. He was cute, he had long white and brown fur and clear blue eyes. He was young, just a puppy, and thin. How long had it been since he was fed? He didn’t have a collar, or anything. He looked so sad as Sara brought him over.

                I touched the top of his head and got a closer look at him. He was covered in fleas and other bugs. This wasn’t right. He deserved better. He was just a puppy. This was no life for any person or dog or cat this young. This was no life for someone or something without any means to change their situation.

                “Sara.” I bit my lip and looked up at her. She had this sad look on her face. She looked downright miserable.

                “We can’t.” She mumbled.

                “We can’t leave him here.” I protested.

                “We’ll…we’ll take him to the pound.” She was chewing her bottom lip.

                “Sara.” I knew she didn’t want to, but I knew she didn’t think she should take him in.

                “Devon, I can’t—”

                “Please? You like dogs. You’ve always wanted one. Let’s do this. We can. It’s just a dog.” I wanted to add that it wasn’t a child, but I didn’t feel like bringing up kids with Sara. I wanted to wait on that for as long as I possibly could.

                “Devon, I don’t know…” She fell silent and looked down at the puppy in her arms. He was looking up at her with his sad blue eyes.

                “Sara,” I lifted my hand to her cheek and she looked back at me. “we can do this. It’s a puppy, a lonely, cold, hungry puppy. It’s just a puppy.”

                She nodded. “Okay. We can try."

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Kind of short, I know, but I hope you liked it anyways. I just found out exactly what I want to happen in the last chapter. It. Will. Be. Perfect. I'm excited. It may even qualify a sequal. Maybe. Depends on how many people want one. We've got a bit to go though, so hold onto your hats. We've got exs, brothers, puppies, love, pain, bad decisions, and leaps of faith, and who knows what else?