Star Wars EU Ships and One-Shots

With Death Comes Life

  That devastated look on her face, it was nearly enough in and of itself to drive Han over the edge with her. He knew she hadn't fallen yet, he wouldn't let her, but it was becoming more of a struggle with each passing moment. What was he supposed to do when he felt the exact same? Weary, wasted, and guilty Han felt and he was ready to let himself and Leia fall over the edge. But he couldn't let Leia fall, too. And she would fall if he didn't keep her up.

  Outside the viewport, he watched the speeders pass like normal, like nothing was happening. They carried on with life, went about their daily tasks. It all made Han wish they could hurt like he did.
Suddenly, Han heard a sniffle, the first in a while. He looked to his side where his wife sat, her eyes red from crying, her jaw set in anger, a kind of anger that couldn't be tamed so easily. There came a certain fire to her eyes that Han knew didn't belong there, but he felt that fire in himself and figured it was best not to say anything to Leia. It would only make her even angrier and no one needed that right now. "Leia," Han muttered her name to see if she'd respond. She stiffened, leaned away. "Leia," he repeated, reaching out a gentle hand toward her shoulder. Her grip suddenly tightened around baby Ben who was laid in her protective arms. She flinched away and the mere movement made Han's heart ache that much more.
  Just when things had gotten better between them since Chewie's death, why did this have to happen? Why did anything have to happen to threaten his and Leia's marriage once again? All Han wanted to do at that very moment was lay Ben in his crib and wrap his own arms around his wife to comfort her, chase away her torments, try and heal with her. Was that so wrong that they had to suffer even more? With Chewie, Han had been lucky that Leia had cared enough and stayed by his side until he had been ready to come back to hers. He'd always had her there, reaching out, ready to pull him back. Now, she was waiting on him, depending on him to pull her back. And Han wasn't sure that he could. That scared him more than anything.
  "Leia," he said a third time, more stern yet soft and gentle, assuring her he only meant to heal with his words. She turned her head to look at him, tears pooling in her fiery, brown eyes. Her jaw shook with each sob she held back and Han wanted those tears to fall, wanted to cry with her and make all the pain go away. But, first, he had to get to her. "Leia, please don't hold it in."

  "And why should I take your advice?" she growled. "You held it in. And ran. Why can't I do the same?"
  "Because I shouldn't have. And you knew that. Leia, stop it and look at me. Look at me! You wouldn't let me deal with Chewie's death alone and I won't let you deal with Anakin's death alone."
  Leia bit her lip, shuddered a sob, and got up to place Ben in the crib Han had moved out to the living room. She stood before him and let the tears fall, tracing a determined path down her face. "You always thank me for holding you up after Chewie, but I can't hold up anymore, Han. I can't!"

  "I wouldn't expect you to." Han took her hands from where he sat and gently pulled her down to lie in his lap. He cradled her head to his chest and kissed her atop her head. "I guess we're going to have to help each other, now. I'm here, Leia. I'm back and I'm not leaving ever again. I swear."

  Leia slowly eased back against Han's body, relaxing in his hold. The silence turned into one of calmness and Leia rejoiced in it, trying to keep her anger at bay. In his arms, Han held her tight, rocking her, ignoring the world. All that was was just the two of them, wrapped up in each other's arms.

  "I still remember when you first told me you were pregnant again. I came home and you seemed really giddy, yet nervous, too. You couldn't sit still, but you kept doing that thing with your hands, the thing you do when you're really stressed or worried. Anyway, you told me we really needed to talk and then you went into this whole rant of muttering about how horrible the timing was and that you didn't want to deal with it right now . . . and I finally took you into my arms to calm you and tears started falling down your face and you told me-"

  Then, Leia turned in his grasp so their eyes met. And with a sincerity in her features, a seriousness that worried Han, she touched her hand to his cheek and said, "I'm pregnant, Han."