The Evil Rant And Review Book

Reincarnated

A small note:

I want to thank everyone who backed me and my book up. I'm glad you understand what I'm trying to do and I promise, I'll feel a twinge of remorse as I tear your books apart.

Thanks so much for having my back. Especially since I didn't pay any of you to do it. I did threaten you with my badgers, but didn't actually pay you.

Author: thesongist

Genre: Fantasy

No. of chapter read: 2, but it felt like a lot more

First Impression: This book has a map. A simplistic map, but a map nonetheless. I like books with maps

Cover: It's the dragon from Mortal Kombat! Oh, no, wait, it's not. It's just two dragons and some ankh like thing. It looks nice, but I'm not blown away. I now expect dragons.

Cover rating: Nice

Blurb: Okay, honestly, when it fist read the blurb, I didn't understand jack squat. After actually reading some of the story, it actually makes sense. But... there's too much information. We don't need to know what the Heavenly Pillars are from the blurb. We also don't need to know if Lucian is guilty or not of this supposed crime he committed.

All this stuff makes the blurb clunky and unattractive. I wasn't squealing with glee when I read it. I'm still not squealing with glee, but I'm hard to impress.

Blurb rating: Too much information

Let's get it on!

Second impression: Oh, no, another omniscient book!

Actual review (drum roll please):

Language: Ah, where to begin? I may just have to do this for this review. *takes Nazi hat off*. Though not edited to perfection, it's refreshing to see someone actually using commas and words properly. For that, author, I salute you.

Now let me trash you. Holly hell, that's a lot of words. It's like getting an ice cream, sinking your spoon in it and it explodes into a jam bomb and covers you from head to foot. I admit, the omniscient narrator doesn't help either, but I feel like every single thing is freaking over described.

The beginning is good: cool and crisp, but then it kinda sinks into what the fuck is happening territory. We get multiple POV on the same issue and it slows the place dramatically.

Language rating: Use less words

Plot: Yes, there is a plot. An interesting plot. Apparently, children reincarnate as gods or other dead stuff and are judged regarding whose reincarnation they are.

Our hero, Lucian, is the reincarnation of Morpheus, the despised god who destroyed the heavenly pillars, so everyone hates him, even if he's done nothing to deserve it. So he gets beaten, spit on, glared at and all the shebang.

I love the idea, I really do, but it also makes me want to set fire to the village of Caelum and dance around the flames and roast marshmallows on the backs of burning people.

The plot moves fairly quickly. In two chapters I already witnessed Lucian getting beaten, probably killing the most popular boy in town, going to his manhood ceremony, fleeing the country and meeting a new companion which takes him on an adventure. All in two chapters.

That might be an indication that your chapters are too long. Much too long. Lucian's adventures in the forest could be a chapter of their own. So should the part after he escapes the village. So I think I actually read around four chapters, or what felt like four chapters anyway.

Also, that aegis part was confusing as fuck. That because of the constant change in POV. I don't know the rules, how they were broken, why the Var was fucking ON FIRE and what the hell happened? What were the signs of depravity? Why did the town jump at Lucian to kill him? Poor Lucian...

Plot rating: interesting

Characters:

Lucian: I like him. Poor kid has been spit on his entire life. But he escapes the village and goes on a merry adventure. What puts me off about him? He's fucking twelve. I'm way too old for this shit. When he started being rude to Lucas I wanted to punch him in the face. The guy saved you from your dead mother apparition! Show some gratitude.

Lucian's father: Is a drunken bastard tool. Someone should call social services on him.

Lucian's (step) mother: is the only one who treats him like a human being. I liked her.

Lucian's sister: Liked her too. She also keenly observed that her brother was a human child.

Elias: is a bloated corpse

The Var: is on freaking fire!!

Felix: is pretty useless in the long run

Lucas: is pretty awesome so far. He kills stuff and that always gains points in my book.

Character rating: likable enough

Why I stopped reading: While the story seems interesting plot wise, the writing puts me off a bit. It's the wordiness which makes it pretty hard to read and the omniscient narrator that just freaks me the fuck out.

Grade: Pass. Even if it's not my thing, I do recognize a story with the potential to be awesome when I see it. The plot is original and interesting as far as I'm concerned and I bet will be loved by die-hard fantasy fans. You may add the [I survived the most BRUTAL review] thingie to your blurb.

Enjoy the song. It's one of my favorites.