Chapter Five - This Can't be Real

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After we played Marco Polo a few more times Lanie and Andrew got a text from their mom saying that they had to head back up to their apartment. And as they were leaving, I realized that it was just me and Jacob in the pool now.

The moment that happened between us earlier looms over our heads as we stare at each other. I guess Jacob senses it too because he says, "I'm, uh, sorry about -"

"It's fine," I cut him off. I smile at him to let him know it's okay.

Jacob smiles back and a blush crawls up his cheeks. He came over to me, the redness on his cheeks still there, and asked, "Can we try something?"

I pretend to ponder the idea before I say, "Sure, what is it?"

"Just do as I say, okay," he says. I nod.

He makes his way over to me so we're the same distance apart as earlier, my heart quickens with anticipation as he moves closer - wondering what I just agreed to - but instead of reaching out toward my waist, he smiled at me as he ducked under the water.

What? 

Just as I was about to go under with him, I felt a soft, gentle hand grab my foot. I yelped with surprise as Jacobs head popped out of the water, holding my left foot in his hand.

"What are you doing," I asked, laughing. 

He laughed too. "Just trust me."

"Okay, Jacob," I said. 

He smiled and came closer to me. "Okay, now... um..." He laughed again and looked down, his wet eyelashes casting shadows across his now red cheeks.

A thought crossed my mind. Is Jacob being shy? 

My heart thudded in my chest with growing love at the thought.

He looked up again and said, "Now put your right hand on my shoulder." I did as he said, and laid my hand right where his neck turned into his shoulder. 

I could feel the blood rise to my cheeks. We just stayed in that position for a moment before Jacob cleared his throat, and I heard him gulp. "Now" - his voice cracked a little when he said it - "I'm going to lift you up."

"Um, okay." I said, not really sure what he meant. 

"When your up there, just act like your a wooden board. And if you fall, don't worry, I'll catch you." Jacob winked at me then, and I felt dizzy for a second. Even though I've seen him wink through a screen, seeing wink at me in person is a lot more to handle.

"Alright," I said, my voice coming out a little shaky. 

Jacob must have misunderstood the waver in my voice for nervousness because he smiled and said, "Don't worry, Ells, it's going to be fun."

And then he lifted me up in air. I yelped a little bit and closed my eyes as  I spun around and he grabbed my other foot. When I opened my eyes again, I was flying. Or that's what it seemed like. With my height and Jacobs height combined, I was at least ten feet up in the air.

Even though all I could see was the pool, I felt on top of the world, especially with Jacob Sartorius holding me up. Then I started to lose my balance. I waved my arms side to side a little bit, trying to regain my balance, but it didn't work, and I ended up falling head first toward the cement edge of the pool.

I cinched my eyes shut tight, expecting my head to hit hard concrete, but instead, I feel arms carefully wrap around my bare back and legs. I opened my eyes and found myself clinging to Jacob - both of my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. My side was brushing against his bare chest, and he was looking down at me with such a genuine smile that I couldn't help smiling too. 

Then a serious expression made it's way onto Jacob's face, and, as if drawn to by some invisible force, he began slowly leaning toward me. He's going to kiss me, I thought. I licked my lips unconsciously, and began leaning in too. 

But at the last second Jacob backed up and looked away. My stomach dropped with disappointment as he gently set me down. We stood there in an awkward silence before I looked at the clock on the wall and said, "Well, it's dinner time. I guess we better head back."

"Yeah, I guess so," he said, still not looking me in the eye.We climbed out of the pool and grabbed our towels. We dried ourselves off in silence, and I brushed through my hair once before throwing my towel over my shoulder, put on my flip-flops, and started walking out of the room. I was almost to the door when Jacob called out to me.

"Hey, Ellie, wait up," he said. I turned around and saw Jacob walking toward me.

"What, Jacob." I asked, hoping he didn't notice the disappointment in my voice. 

"I just - I wanted to tell you -" 

"It's okay, Jacob," I said, cutting him off. Not wanting to hear what he had to say, knowing that it couldn't be anything good. "I understand."  

I saw a conflicted and pained look cross his features as turned for the door again. 

But then I felt Jacob's soft hand grab mine, and my heart leaped inside my chest. He gently turned me around to look at him, then let go of my hand and laid both of his on my shoulders. He looked me in the eyes as he said, "Ellie, can we... can we hang out tomorrow?"

I couldn't say no to him. He is Jacob Sartorius after all. "Of course," I said, smiling.

He sighed in relief, and smiled. Then he let go of my shoulders. "What apartment are you staying at?"

"What," I asked, confused.

"I need to know so I can get you tomorrow." 

"Oh," I said, it making more sense now, and told him the room I'm staying at.

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When I got back to my apartment, my parents were in the kitchen talking and warming up some microwave meals. I went and got a shower and changed into my pajamas. My mom, dad and I ate dinner together and watched some TV.

Then I went onto my phone and liked all of Jacobs new tweets, and musical.lys, and his Instagram photo. I re tweeted his latest tweet about being excited for Magcon this Saturday, and commented a, "Me too! Can't wait to meet you!" Even though I'm more dreading going to Magcon then excited for it. 

I don't want Jacob to know I'm a fan. I don't want him thinking differently of me than of me just being a regular girl. I've been trying to hide it so far. Trying not tell him that he looked really cute in his latest post or that I totally agree with him on things that he never told me he liked, but told his fans.

When I crawled into bed, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I mean more than usual. For two years I've supported Jacob, and for one year I knew I liked him. I never went so far as saying I was in love him, because I didn't want to believe I was. I knew it could never happen between us. He was a star and I was just a girl... but now things are different, and the love for him that I kept buried is making it's way to the surface. 

I know I'm not doing myself a favor by keeping my hopes up. He could probably get any girl he wants. Hell, in one day he'll be hugging more than five hundred girls, most of them probably older and prettier than me. Why would he choose me?


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