The Cursed Alpha

The Smile

I had known within the first few seconds of seeing his handsome face that I loved him. Zane Maverick. His tan skin was smooth and his hair was soft. His hands were large, but gentle. His eyes were deep brown, and I could see so many emotions in there. Emotions I didn't have. I could see his confusion and a sadness that I don't think he even knew he had. I knew it came from his wolf. B-G. He wanted Zane to accept him.

I knew there was some hardship in Zane's past. B-G had let that much slip. But he had said he couldn't tell us if even Zane didn't know. And me and Yaps understood. Just like we understood that to get Zane to accept us, we had to get him to accept his wolf.

I knew that he didn't like werewolves. It was a fact. It hurt, but Yaps helped me control that emotion. I focused on the good.

The tingling feeling in got in my stomach and chest when I saw him weren't new, but I would never get tired of them. His scent enveloped me every time he was near me, and since Howard had declared his punishment, he had been around me quite a bit. His scent of pine, mint, and man was becoming addicting, and I knew I would never be able to let him go.

But, there was something new with him. At first, I hadn't even noticed. I'm not sure I would have noticed if Elise hadn't pointed it out.

Lately, if I ever turned my back to him, Zane would... smile at me. When I had told my b... when I had told Beta Christopher, he seemed to be annoyed. He told me not to fall head over heels before I even knew the guy. I had told him that it was too late, and that I loved him. Beta Christopher had pulled me into a hug and told me I was a great Alpha even without a mate. I told him he was a great Beta, and then we had parted ways. Him, to check on border patrols, and me to start organizing another formal request day.

I had told Zane about the project, and he asked how he could help. I gave him a budget and list of items we needed, from highest priority to frivolous. I told him to calculate how much we could afford to have. I started getting to work, but secretly kept an eye on him.

I saw when he looked up and smiled at me, and Yaps all but howled with delight in my head. I whole-heartedly agreed. We felt so good I thought we might explode. But we didn't.

I looked up from writing out my invitations, giving Zane a questioning look. Didn't he hate werewolves, and therefore me? Why was he doing this?

I had been confused before. Of course I had, it was a state of being, like being in pain was. But I had never felt confusion in my heart before. I kept going through a cycle of the few emotions that I had, seeing tiffany blue surrounding me. I was going through emotional whiplash, and I just wasn't sure what to feel, or what I should feel.

It took a while, but eventually Zane figured out what was going on, and he explained that I was confused. Emotionally confused.  He said there's a difference between being confused, as in you don't understand a problem, and being confused emotionally. He explained that being emotionally confused was a little like being thrown into emotional whiplash--feeling one thing then another, not really sure what you should feel. 

It didn't make much sense to me, but most emotions didn't. A minute after calming me down, Zane went back to work. I stared at his handsome head until my headache grew too severe and I had to go back to work, too. But I couldn't help but think that maybe Zane was warming up to werewolves. Or, at least, warming up to me. I just really hoped those smiles weren't just because I saved his life.