Sweet Disposition (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 6

The new shape gave her a more friendly and polished look. I swept the black hair out of her eyes and turned to Harry, handing him the clippers.

"I'm surprised she let you do that. She hardly lets me touch her face, let alone a stranger. I do like it though, makes her look more sophisticated." He smiled, but I could tell it was forced. "I guess it's kinda ironic, but I used to hate long manes or tails. Now I can't stand for them to be short."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

He picked up Missy's lead rope and led her back to her to a pasture off to the side that all the students were forbidden to go into. He took off her halter, kissed her nose, then shut the gate.

"Why don't you ever ride?" I asked, knowing I was pushing the boundary.

Maybe if I pushed him enough he would break and tell me. Sure, I knew what happened, but I wanted to hear it from his point of view. Like they say, there's two sides to every story.

He stopped with his back still facing me and I saw his shoulders slump. He slowly turned to face me and walked towards me. The closer he got, the more pain I saw in his eyes.

"Because I can't." His voice was barely above a whisper.

I just stared at him for a while, taking in the emotions on his face. It was a big change from the blank face he usually had. He turned to leave, and something inside me snapped. I reached out to him and pulled him back, before embracing him in one of the biggest hugs I had ever given.

He went rigid and started shaking, pushing at my chest desperately. I let him go and he just stared at me with tears in his eyes.

"Quit doing that!" He yelled, fisting at his damp curls.

"Quit doing what?" I furrowed my eyebrows

"Making me think you care! One minute it's like you want to be my friend and then the next it's like you wouldn't care if I jumped off a bridge or something!

"I do care." I said softly.

"No you don't!" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "No one does. Not anymore. Not since-" He stopped and squeezed his eyes shut as tears creeped out from under his close eyelids.

I reached nervously for his hand and was overjoyed when he let me have it. I pressed our palms together and tried to ignore the way our hands fit together like puzzle pieces. I put two fingers under his chin and lifted his head up. He opened his eyes and I was met with a dull, sad green. He had to look down at me and I tried not to let that intimidate me.

"Since what? You can tell me Harry." I breathed, inching my hand over to his cheek.

"Since my family died." He said it so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

"What happened to them?"

"I c-can't- no." I squeezed his hand when he started shaking.

The movement must have snapped him out of a reverie, because the next thing I knew he was jumping back and staring at me with wide, fearful eyes. I saw the signs of a panic attack as he ran into the barn. I sighed, letting him go. Maybe after he calmed down I could get him to talk to me.

Why did I care so much anyways? It wasn't like I had a crush on him or anything, not that there's anything wrong with that. I wasn't really straight, but i wasn't gay either. I really didn't care for the gender, as long as the person was what I wanted. My parents would never allow me to be with a boy anyways. It was frowned upon in our country.

I climbed up on the fence in Missy's pasture and watched her graze for a few minutes. She really was graceful like my mum said. The way her coat shined made her look like a damaged angel and in a way I guess she was. They were both damaged, her and Harry. They were damaged angels.

I looked around, making sure no one was around before jumping into the pasture and going up to her. She stood still as I petted her and talked to her softly. Her ears flicked forward at the sound of my voice and I swear I saw her eyes brighten.

"Why is Harry convinced that no one cares about him hmm? I know you do. You two have a special bond. I've never seen anything like it. And while we're on the subject, why do you let me touch you and not anyone else besides Harry. What's so special about me? Maybe it's because I'm nice to him. Is that it?"

Missy pushed her nose into my palm and I took it as a yes. I fed her a leftover treat from my pocket and exited the pasture just as a few girls were coming in to get their horses. Some saddled up, while others went straight for the washrooms.

Zach came out shortly after and grinned when he saw me.

"Hey mate, we're all goin' on a trail ride, wanna come?"

I nodded my head silently and went to tack up Snowy without another word. I wasn't feeling really great after my little moment with Harry. Why had I held his hand, why had I cupped his cheek, and more importantly, why did I want so badly to kiss him?