happy losers win || PJM

one

 I groaned and threw my bag on the floor as my knees hit the ground of the classroom. I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down before my vision got blurry. I tried not to blink so that the tears wouldn't fall, but once again, I failed.

No words could explain how mad at myself I was.

I took off my glasses and sniffled loudly before pulling on the sleeves of my sweater to wipe my tears. I put my glasses back on and opened my bag again, determined to find what I was looking for.

"I will find this pencil."

I took my math notebooks and threw them aside. They landed in the corner of the room, right next to my empty pencil case and dozens of colored pencils scattered on the cold floor tiles.

The only thing that could be heard in the room was my quick breathing and the sound of my books hitting the ground, as I turned my bag upside down and shook it to take out all of its content.

Surrounded by the faint lighting from the cloudy sky that crossed the windows of the classroom, I searched through the mess I made.

"Why isn't it here?" I whined as my small hands turned into fists. Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes, again.

Long ago, my old friend Lina from middle school had given me a mechanical pencil that I had been using for the past two years. She said it would remind me of her and I'd be able to survive through all of my daily classes without giving up.

I never had many friends to talk to throughout middle school, so her words really had an impact on me. Lina had always been an extremely hard working person, since she wished to become a doctor and knew she had to get good grades to make her dream come true.

She never gave up and always had a smile on herface. Unfortunately, I hadn't seen her since she'd moved to another city two years back.

I, on the other hand, was far from being hardworking. I didn't have the slightest idea of what I wanted to be when I got older. I managed to do the work decently and my grades were okay, but how was I supposed to keep making so many efforts when I had no defined goal?

Motivation being one of the things I lack the most, I chose to believe that the mechanical pencil that Lina gave me would emotionally help me out at school. I used it for all of my exams, and even though it was just a pencil, it happened to become precious to me.

You know you have no friends when your only emotional support is an object. But that object was missing from my bag.

I lost many things on a daily basis, and that day, it had to be this.

I watched the clock at the front of the class and its hands indicated that it was 16:23. I sighed, pouted, and my tears slowly ran down my cheeks to fall on my skirt. I collected my belongings and almost lost my balance as I got up on my feet.

So clumsy.

I left my spot at the back of the classroom, my heavy bag weighing on my shoulder. I walked slowly through the hallway, ready to finally go home after another boring day. My glasses were resting in my hands after I took them off, ready to wipe the wet spots below my eyes again.

When I turned a corner to reach the stairs, someone quickly walked past me, bumping my shoulder in the process.

I dropped my glasses, causing whoever bumped into me to hear the noise and retrace their steps.

It took me a few seconds to process what had just happened while the person apologized repeatedly.

I ignored the person whose shoulder collided with mine, pretending I wasn't affected. I crouched down and tried to find my thin glasses, afraid they might have been scratched or even broken. I looked in front of me and saw the silhouette of the person picking my glasses up.

A guy.

I stood up and dusted my skirt, making sure it wasn't dirty. We were both standing and even though his face was blurry, I could see that the boy was smiling at me. I could barely see anything, but I managed to quickly reach out and take my glasses from his hand.

I muttered a soft "Thanks." and placed them on the bridge of my nose for the millionth time today. I didn't have time to check if my glasses were okay. My eyes widened. I was too amazed by the beauty of the boy standing before me. His facial features looked stunning and his brown hair seemed soft and fluffy. His eyes looked almost closed as he smiled brightly.

"Jimin? We're in the same French class, right?"

"Yeah. That's me. Sorry for bumping into you, I was in a hurry..." he trailed off, looking at the floor. His smile slowly disappeared from his face when he looked up and got a clear view of my eyes.

Well, he didn't really need to look up, since he was a lot taller than me. I felt even smaller at that moment, since he was staring at me with such a judgmental look.

"Are you crying?" he asked with an annoyed tone as he looked straight into my eyes.

"Oh! Yes, sorry about that," I faked a smile and looked down as I was about take my glasses off once again, but before I could, Jimin grabbed my wrists and pushed my arms down. He frowned and pulled down the sleeve of his sweater.

I didn't have time to protest since he abruptly took off my glasses and hastily wiped my tears with the thick fabric of his shirt. The whole time, my eyes were the size of the moon and I couldn't move.

He pulled his sleeve back up, put my glasses back on my face and glared at me.

"Don't think anything of what I just did. I can't stand girls who cry," Jimin growled before he awkwardly turned around and walked away.

I was frozen in place with my arms tensed.

What?