The Virgin Lessons

Chapter 21: Dread to Butterflies

One would think that waking up in the morning, especially for school, would be one of the most dreadful things to commit to.

It is, don't get me wrong.

I was dreading something slightly more this rainy morning. Seeing Dylan was the last thing I wanted to do today. I knew it would be awkward, if not for him, it was for me.

Seeing that I showered right before going to sleep last night, I contemplated on whether I should lay in bed for about a half an hour more. However, I dragged myself up and officially started my morning a little earlier.

Brushing my teeth.

Washing my face.

Barely walking to my closet to pick out my outfit. I didn't have the best fashion sense and I was definitely not trying to impress anyone at school.

Picking out my lazy day gray tee-shirt, that was slightly crumbled from being balled up on my shelf, along with some destroyed skinny jeans.

I never liked dressing up without an occasion because it felt like a hassle. Especially to school, especially doing it every single day. I don't know how those people do it.

Sluggishly, I wrapped my hair into a topknot, not giving a second glance to the few curls, some damp and some dry, that were escaping the bunch. I would probably have to redo it later in school because I know the humidity outside would not allow my hair to stay semi-tamed.

Trudging downstairs, I snatched a bowl, frosted flakes and the last remaining of milk. Mixing everything together, I tried to ignore the snores that came upstairs.

My mother stumbled in late last night, around 3 or 4 a.m. as she woke me from my slumber. Seeing her home the previous day made me believe it would become a routine, but I guess old habits die hard.

I didn't want to think about home life because it never brought any good to it. My mother was rarely sober, I haven't seen my father since he left and being an only child doesn't help at all. I would say that would be my reason to be so attached to Allison, but I'm not as much of a people's person like she is.

That's one of the reasons why I'm doing the lessons with Avery. One, it'll help me to socialize with others besides Ally. It'll help me talk to people I find attractive, instead of shying away and admiring from afar. I'm learning how to kiss, although there's not much to it, not that I'm complaining. Also, the small, but big part is that I won't be seen as a downer to Ally. She's the social butterfly who's comfortable in her own skin and shows that through her outgoing personality. Maybe if I can change a bit, I wouldn't be such a burden to be around.

Not that she says or displays any sign or irritation, but I know it's there when she wants to go to parties that I don't want to even be in the premises of. Even when she wants to go shopping or boy hunting or hang out with people. I'm that friend that's too insecure to even look out the crack of my comfort zone.

Hopefully these lessons can bring out the inner ideal person Ally wants because she's the only person I have right now.

But Avery...

I shook the absolute ridiculous thought away before my mind wondered into territory I did not want to be around.

Finishing my bowl of cereal, I quickly washed it after. Checking the time on my phone, I had about 45 minutes until Ally came. This meant time for Spongebob.

It was probably childish of me to watch it, but it always kept my mind away from problems.

When my parents used to fight, I would drown them out with Spongebob's happy attitude. When I would come home from school, having no friends or even an acquaintance, I would just watch him until I fell asleep. Whenever I was feeling sick, it always made me feel better.