A Reylo Romance: "Don't be Afraid, I Feel it Too"

Suspended in You (part one)

The air is crisp when I walk out of the cave. 

I take a deep breath of sweet mountain air, more alert and awake than I've ever felt in my entire life while on Jakku, where the heat makes everyone walk around half asleep all day. 

I look out across the forest. Everything is clear and bright with the morning sun and the scent of recently fallen rain hangs in the air. It's like the smell of wet earth and roots, which I recognize only from a potted plant I bought from Unkar once. It was taken from a cargo ship that had crashed near Niima Outpost. But the soil dried up and the plant died.

I stretch and start walking. Where did Kylo get to? And where's BB-8? Is Kylo so much more fun to hang out with than I am? If she wasn't a robot I'd swear she was smitten with him.

I find them out near the stolen ship, playing some kind of game where BB-8 is trying to outrun a rock that Kylo throws through the air. I stop walking, seeing them enjoying their game. They're busy with whatever they're doing. If Kylo wants me to train with him then he'll let me know.

I take out my light saber and give it a twirl. I like the feel of it in my hand. Might as well break it in a bit.

The morning's 'training session' seems to consist of Kylo and I ignoring each other while we slice and dice the trees with a vengeance. I practice my jumps and somersaults too. Kylo relies on his strength but I like to use my agility in a fight. I think it gives me a bit of an advantage. At least it always did back on Jakku, when I'd get attacked by Teedos, back before I knew I could use the Force.

BB-8 rolls around, doing her own thing. I stay close by, keeping her in my sight. Last night's dream has me on edge, or something doesn't feel quite right, like there's a disturbance inside of me that I can't escape. Maybe it's left over embarrassment from my meltdown last night. I've never broken down in front of someone like that before. Even when I was alone at home on Jakku, I didn't cry that hard.

"Are you going to train with Kylo today?" BB-8 beeps, rolling towards me.

"What?" I stop destroying an innocent tree that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. "I am training BB-8," I say. "Can't you see?"

"It looks like you're trimming a tree," she replies.

I grunt and lower my light saber. She's right. It's wasted energy.

"Wouldn't it be more beneficial for you to train with Kylo?" BB-8 continues. She rolls closer to me and her beeps become quieter. "Are we going to escape tonight? Is that why you are avoiding him?"

"Am I avoiding him?" I ask. Nothing gets past BB-8. She tells it like it is. "You're right. I'm avoiding him. But he's avoiding me too."

I look over to him now, in the distance through the trees. He's swinging his light saber around, spinning and ducking every now and then like he's following a fighting routine he learned at some light saber fighting school.

He stops, like he can feel me staring at him. I was enjoying watching him. He's in great shape. Too bad he stopped. Suddenly an image of him with his shirt off from the previous night flashes through my mind, his eyes in the candle light, his arms around me.

Our eyes meet and I'm the first to look away. Am I playing some dangerous game? Am I betraying the Resistance by being here? Betraying myself somehow?

Kylo starts to walk towards me and I turn and walk away from him, back to the cave. I'm not ready to talk to him yet.

"Rey," he calls after me.

I don't stop, but keep going.

"Rey!" he calls louder this time. I walk faster. If we had a race I think I'd win. I smile, despite myself, then I start to run. Let's see if he can catch me. I don't get too far before I'm lifted off my feet and tossed into the air by Kylo using the Force on me. I fly towards a large tree and brace myself for impact. At the last moment I remember that I have Force power too and can use it to stop myself from crashing into the tree. I push the energy forwards and spin myself around, falling down and landing in a crouch position. I look up at Kylo, who's still coming after me. There's no longer a smile on my face.

He stops walking when he sees my expression. With a loud cry I lunge forward, my hands out in front of me. Kylo goes flying backwards. I don't know how to control the Force all that well, to make it stop before he slams into the large tree behind him. I let go, but it's too late, his back hits the wood and I hear a cracking sound. I cringe. Oops.

He falls and lands on his two feet, a dark look on his face.

"Rey, come here," he says quietly, yet loud enough for me to hear.

I clench my fists. Is he trying to make me obey him?

Kylo crosses his arms and waits. I consider walking away, but then he'll just toss me into the air again. I must have flown over ten feet. I'm not turning my back on him this time.

"Rey," he says again, his voice like silk. "Start walking and come here."

I start walking. Then stop. What in the Galaxy? I shake my head to clear it, but my body feels oddly loose and tingly inside. Nevertheless, there's no way I'm taking orders from Kylo right now. He could have just asked nicely, or he can let me do as I please.

"You want to walk to me," Kylo's deep voice drifts into my thoughts, distracting me, like I've got something I'm trying to remember but it keeps slipping away. I blink and squint my eyes at the sun. What was I doing again? Oh yeah, walking to Kylo.

I start moving again. Why am I walking to him? To give him a piece of my mind about his ignoring me all morning! That's probably it.

When I stop in front of him he has a grin on his face.

"What?" I say.

"You came," his eyes flash with what looks like a challenge.

"Of course I came, I wanted to come here and tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I..." Then I remember. I didn't want to walk over here. I pull out my light saber and it instantly lights up. "You used mind control on me?" I growl at him.

"Manipulation." He sidesteps me, unfazed by my light saber. "You should learn how to use it."

"You don't want me to learn how to use it," I say.

"You're right." He stops to look at me. "I don't."

I want to be pissed off at him right now but another thought is brewing in my mind. "When you threw me from behind," I say, an idea forming. "I flew really high." I lower my light saber.

"Enemies won't wait for you to be ready and facing them," Kylo says.

"No, I mean, I flew. You know?"

Kylo gives me a questioning look.

"And," I begin to pace, swinging my light saber around as I talk. "If I needed to get up high, to get away from an enemy or escape from a trap-"

"I understand," Kylo says. He steps back and puts out his hand. "Go ahead." He nods towards my stolen ship in a nearby clearing. "I'll boost you on top of that."