The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows (kellic)

chapter 8

I can't believe I messed things up so much. Kellin and I were over. All because I couldn't control myself. I had really started to like him a lot. I mean a lot, a lot.

"Please get up." Jamie begs, throwing one of his pillows at me.

"I can't. I'm such an idiot." I groan, tossing his pillow to the ground dejectedly. Kellin wasn't answering his phone and wouldn't reply when I tried to text him. I had been laying in the same position all weekend. I didn't want to get up. I wanted to lay there and try to figure out a way to get Kellin back. I know that I was an asshole and I totally didn't deserve Kellin. But I still wanted him. I missed talking to him and hearing him ramble.

"Ok this one says that they aren't sexually attracted to anyone, but that it doesn't mean they can't like get aroused or whatever." Jamie says, reading from his phone. I told him what Kellin said about being ace and he told me to google it because I was completely ignorant on the subject. Apparently ace was short of asexual. And asexual apparently, have little to no interest in sex, which explains a lot. I'm such a dick!

"Good to know. Not that it will help me get him back." I mumble.

"Well maybe you should get off your ass and apologize in person." Jamie snaps, obviously tired of my shit.

"That's easier said than done. He doesn't want to talk to me." I know that I was getting whiny but I couldn't help it. Kellin has occupied my thoughts since the first day we met and now it's even worse.

"Whatever Vic." Jamie mutters angrily, while I stare up at the ceiling. A few moments later I hear the door slam. Great I pissed him off. I have bigger things to worry about though. Like getting Kellin back. Grabbing my phone I send another message to Kellin. It's the fifth one today.

Vic: "I'm so sorry I was pressuring you even though you were uncomfortable. Please talk to me."

I wait for a few minutes but of course he doesn't reply. I wasn't really expecting him to though. Maybe I should go and see him. He can't ignore me if I'm right there right? Nervously I throw my shoes on and head out the door. What if he tells me to go away? He probably will but I have to talk to him. Halfway to Kellin's room I lose all my courage and run back to my room cringing. God I'm such a little bitch! I fall back on my bed and press my face into a pillow, wishing it would suffocate me or at the very least swallow me whole. I eventually fall asleep even though it's one 6pm.

I wake up in a sweat, holding back a scream that's begging to be let lose. I can't stop shaking. The worst part about these night terrors is that there's no source, I have nothing to be afraid of but for some reason my body responds as if there was.

Quietly, I grabbed my shoes and left. It seemed like I was always leaving for midnight walks since I got to college. I knew that I should definitely be asleep since I had class tomorrow, but I also knew there wasn't a chance of me falling back to sleep. I only knew of one place that was opened this late, so I headed to the small café across campus.

Like always the café appears to be empty.

"Hey Jenna can I get the usual?" I ask tiredly.

"Do you two ever fucking sleep?" she mumbles walking off into the back to make my coffee.

I was little confused at her words. It was just me here. At least that's what I believed until I saw a familiar dark form sitting slumped over at the booth that we usually occupied. Cautiously I walk over and sit down across from him.

"Hey," I start softly when he doesn't look up. As soon as I speak Kellin's dark head snaps up and he looks at me in surprise.

"V-v-Vic w-what are you doing here?" Kellin stutters. His eyes are red and puffy as if he's been crying again.