Heart and Desire (boyxboy)

Chapter Eleven

Oli's POV:

"I'm seeing Ash this afternoon." I told Leo as we were eating our breakfast.

"'Bout time." He muttered before taking another bite of his toast, "Did you really need that much chocolate spread?"

"Yes! It's my favourite." I beamed at him, sticking my tongue out defiantly. Leo chuckled to himself softly, shaking his head.

"You're impossible." He sighed contently. I nodded in agreement.

Leo watched me for some time, choosing his words carefully before he spoke. I brushed my bedhair out of my eyes, swaying along to a song that was on repeat in my head as I ate my own plate of toast.

"How are you coping?" He asked gently, as if not to startle me. I thought for a moment.

"I'm doing okay. Better than I thought I would," I realized it was true; I'd come to terms with being disowned fairly quickly. It was difficult but it was something I had to deal with. I couldn't change it, "I just feel like everything's turning to shit. Nothing's simple anymore. I don't know what's going on between me and Ash, or me and my mum, or us... As much as I'd like to ignore it or deny it, I can't. Our kiss changed something between us."

Leo's eyes held mine. He was hurting, but why?

"It doesn't have to change anything, Oli..." Leo's voice was so low I could barely hear him. He sounded scared. "I can't lose you."

I offered him a smile, my eyes telling him I'd never leave him. I had to tell him and now's as good a time as any.

"Leo, I need to tell you something..."

"Okay..." Leo cocked his head, puzzled.

"Please don't freak out, but..." I began hesitantly, then hurriedly explained everything Rachel had told me on the phone. I told him I was going to meet my dad, and that I needed him to come with me. When I finally finished talking, I saw Leo was growing angry.

"In two days?! No Oli, I'm not going. And you shouldn't either. He abandoned you at birth, you have never met him. He's probably a druggie or something. Why else would your real mum not have wanted him to have you? He's probably a psycho, Oli. I think it will hurt you more if you meet him. It will make you feel worse; even more abandoned. I mean, you're going to see him for a few days, then he'll go back to Australia. What then? You're back to where you started: lonely and depressed."

I was taken aback by Leo's words. I'd never seen him so angry before, and he'd certainly never spoken to me like this before.

"Okay, don't come. I'll go on my own." I told him, unsure of myself. I thought he'd have been supportive of me meeting my father.

"Sorry, Oli. How about we do something this afternoon? We could watch a movie at the cinema." Leo suggested, placing a hand on my shoulder. I sighed, not wanting to leave the house today, but nodded anyway, "Good. Go get changed and we can go to the cinema. I'll take you somewhere for lunch after, if you want."

I left without answering to get changed. I threw on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt which I found in Leo's dresser. Had Ash ever picked up his stuff from my house? His clothes had been in my dresser when I'd left, and I'd forgotten to give them to him. I assume he went back for them at some point. I sighed again, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I looked horrible. I barely recognized myself. I tried to comb my hair but it remained a frizzy mess. I let out another sigh as I placed the comb down, giving up on my hair.'If you keep sighing like that your soul will escape.'  The boy's words came back to me and I couldn't help but smile. I hope that one day I'll get to meet him again.