Get it For Free ~ Nikki Sixx

Cryin'

As I walked into the kitchen, I could still see Nikki in my peripheral vision; he looked like a sad puppy that had been beaten and left outside on a cold, rainy night. I almost felt bad; I absolutely hated hurting the people I cared about, but this time, it felt justified as well as awful.

I loved Nikki to death but sometimes we could both get a little carried away and neither of us would even realize that we needed to stop until it was too late. Part of me desperately wanted to climb into his arms and beg for his forgiveness... the other part of me wanted to tell him to shove it.

I walked into the kitchen and pulled myself up onto the counter, and I was, thankfully, hidden behind the wall that separated the kitchen from the dining area. It was perfect seeing as I just wanted to be left alone. I knew that they wouldn't let me go anywhere; Nikki would never allow me to go anywhere alone, even if we were fighting or ignoring each other, and the others just followed what he said because it was a 'safety thing'- which was the biggest load of bullshit.

I pulled my knees to my chest and leaned my head against the wall beside me. I seriously don't get why he thinks I need a babysitter. I'm a grown-ass woman, I didn't need to be escorted around by anyone.

I  wasn't the famous one; they needed to worry more about themselves than they needed to worry about me. Hell, I wasn't even allowed to go anywhere with the guys in the other bands! Just because I wasn't with someone from Mötley, I wasn't safe by Nikki's standards. If he was so worried, why did he even bring me?

I looked up to see Tommy enter the kitchen.

"Do you need something?" I asked quietly.

"Uh... no," he said with a slight pause.

"Then get the fuck out," I snapped.

With the raise of his eyebrows, he spun on his heels and walked back out. I instantly felt awful.

I'm such a bitch. Why did I do that?!

I hopped off of the counter.

"Tom!" I called out. His fluffy brown hair was the first thing to pop up from around the corner.

"Please come back. I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. I didn't mean to."

He walked back into the kitchen and stood near the table.

"I've just been having a really shitty time the last few days."

He nodded sympathetically. "I know, Sadie. I get it," he said.

He opened his arms and I gratefully rushed in for a hug. I loved Tommy, but we both knew I would have rather been in Nikki's arms. Just thinking about that made my heart ache and before I knew it, I was in tears once again.

"Shh, it's okay," he soothed. "Shit happens, dude. It's unavoidable."

"I don't know what's gotten into me, Tommy. I-I didn't mean to hurt him," I sobbed. "We keep fighting and I'm not really sure why, and I feel so awful!"

"I guess you guys just need to get it out... You guys are pretty much perfect the rest of the time. You make a killer pair; you're dynamic together, man. The two of you belong together whether either of you know it or not. Sometimes you just gotta work out the kinks."

At this point, I was too torn up to speak, so I simply nodded.

"Look, Sadie, you know I'd let you stay with me but Nikki'd kill me. Avoid him if you have to, just to be safe; just try an' relax tonight, okay? " he asked, looking down at me.

I nodded again and he released me from his arms, wiping the tears and runny makeup off of my face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, T-Bone. I got mascara all over your white shirt," I mumbled with a sad laugh.