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dear you,
mid terms were finally over
that means the holidays were coming
i was excited.
that was until

i overheard jina
asking you out
and
you said
yes.
well what did i expect?
for you to say no?
you arent even mine.
im such a joke.
i guess i forgot
that my feelings
were just
one-sided.
sometimes
how i wish
you knew.
but all we are
are just friends.
just friends.

what can i do
i cant bring myself to stop this.
ive met and known you for
6months 70days
my feelings are also
6months 70days old
im still keeping tabs
weird.

maybe
seeing you less
would help.
i mean its the holidays.
its not like we'll be meeting
each other.
im sure you already have plans.
right.

thinking about it all
my heart clenches
so hard
i almost couldnt breathe.

you came walking to me
bright smile on your face.
i forced a smile onto my face
but you didnt realise.
instead you told me
" jina asked me out!!" excitedly.
that was probably the worst part.
you couldnt see i was hurting
like how you couldnt see
i love you.
you were blinded by happiness
that
was perhaps the first time.
ive seen you smiled
so bright.
so i lied
for the first time ever
i lied
i lied to you
" im happy for you, have fun, okay?"
its a white lie.
so it should be okay?
right?
at least that was what i told myself.
sincerely,
me.

•SEVENTEEN JOSHUA HONG FANFICT•Where stories live. Discover now