Boundaries ➸ Phan

one

Dan Howell had waited for this moment for what seemed like an eternity.

His heart was racing and he was painfully aware of his clammy palms. A cool breeze ran through the train station, and he shivered, slipping his hands in to his pockets.

After all this time, he was about to meet Philip Michael Lester. The one and only AmazingPhil.

He glanced up at the time, seeing he had a few more moments to wait until Phil would arrive. He let his mind wander, thinking about the first time they spoke.

AmazingPhil. That was the first time Dan saw Phil. It was another ordinary night on the internet really, and he had scrolled down on CharlieIsSoCoolLike's new video and found Phil as the top commenter. The response he made, although Dan couldn't remember the exact wording, was witty and made him smile, which was a rare occurrence in 2009.

The raven-haired boy was almost about to reach 100 subscribers, making short comedy videos. Dan could see that although they weren't meant to be for anyone but his friends, they had potential to be... great. Amazing, in fact.

He left a few comments before exiting out of the tab to go and get a hot chocolate - he still remembered how it burnt his tongue and left it feeling uncomfortably numb. Surprisingly, despite the outrageous time of 3am, Phil was online and had replied with a quick 'Thank you! :-)'.

Dan smiled more that day than he had in a long time.

For a second time, Dan looked up at the clock, watching the clock tick past each second. He paid vivid attention, trying to distract himself, as he could feel his eyes turning glossy with tears. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't help but be reminded of when he first saw Phil somehow not smiling; how painful it was; how helpless he felt.

The light of Dan's laptop illuminated his tanned face, the only light in his room. Phil was on Skype, but for some reason, he didn't seen happy.

Phil had always been a generally smiley person. He loved seeing people happy; it made him happy. If someone was in a negative mood, he would make it his mission to make them laugh.

Yet Dan sat here, feeling his eyes turn glossy, helplessly watching Phil sob into a pillow, holding his lion to his chest. "I'm so s-sorry, D-dan," he whimpered between sniffles, rubbing his eyes with his pale arm. His blue eyes were shining by the light of the laptop as usual, but this time they were red and inflamed, tears still leaking out every few seconds.

"It's hard s-sometimes, to be so positive. People started r-relying on me f-for it, y-you know?" Dan nodded, getting emotional as he watched his friend spill out all his worries. "You're my best friend, y-you know that? Because y-you like me for who I am, n-not what I d-do for you."

Dan took a sharp intake of air, quickly wiping the corners of his eyes. He had merely seconds before his friend was due to arrive, and people had started standing up around him. A few metres from him their were children excitedly chattering; on the other side there was a couple with tear-stained cheeks, obviously saying their goodbyes.

A rush of air passed him as the train sped into the station, causing Dan to take a step back. His breathing was heavy and uneven and his eyes were still glazed over from remembering previous ties with Phil. He pictured him in his head as the doors slid open, feeling a rush of feelings and soon people started spilling out, everything was going fast, nothing mattered but seeing Phil, it was a blur, tears started sliding down Dan's cheeks, he jerked his head around and...

There he was.

Jet black hair swept over his piercingly blue eyes, shadowing the rest of his face. He was wearing a blue shirt with a constellation that looked like a lion and black jeans. His one hand sat awkwardly in his pocket and the other was over his mouth, probably to stop himself from screaming, crying or both. Dan understood; he felt the same way.

Dan honestly didn't know how to feel. For the first time ever, the boy he'd called his best friend for over six months was stood right in front of him.

The few second seemed to last forever, and Phil looked just as tranced as Dan did. Truthfully, nothing was more magical than meeting your best friend for the first time.

Without realising it, Dan was running. And so was Phil. Both boys were frantically dodging pedestrians and workers; sprinting, because all they wanted to do was to be able to touch. Then Dan was closer and so was Phil and he reached his hands out and put his arms out, letting out a final sob before, for the first time ever, Dan was wrapped in Phil's arms and Phil was wrapped in Dan's and somehow, strangely, Dan felt complete.