Marvelous Error (Book 3)

Part 1 - Chapter 7

"It's ok, " I said, "whatever you tell me is all right."

He looked away again. His eyes were glassy when he looked back at me.

"What is it?" I reached and touched his arm. "What is it?"

"Eve. I've found someone else. I want to be with her."

I felt my stomach drop even though I hadn't expected it to when we ended things. I knew we had to stop at some point and I wanted to before things turned dark again. But, the relationship we'd developed in the past couple of months had been like no other in our time together. I felt as though we'd gotten to know each other authentically. I saw him share in the joy of our children.

I nodded but I couldn't say anything. I let out a breath and looked at him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "There's something about living this way. In so many ways I honestly love it, but it's not in my nature. I don't want to keep going with it."

"It's all right," I whispered taking his hand in mine. "Really. We had to some time." I shrugged but then I turned away from him and started to cry.

"Are you crying Eve?" He asked tenderly. I could hear the worry and sincerity in his voice. In the past, had he ever worried about hurting before the fact?

I collected myself and turned back. "I'm all right. Really. I'll just miss you." I felt myself starting to cry again. I held my breath not wanting the undulations of pain to grow any more intense.

He let out a deep breath and I thought for a moment he'd come over and take me in his arms. He'd tell me not to cry and then kiss my neck. He'd make love to me. I wanted him to.

"I'll miss you too." He said. I was composed again.

He looked down at the floor and then reached for the cigarette case on the table. "Want one?" He asked me. I smiled and nodded. He held out the box and I took one. He did too. He held the lighter up. We didn't say anything for a little while but somehow there was something humorous about it, or maybe there wasn't, maybe it was just such a deep sadness that we couldn't do anything but find humor in it. We exchanged smiles.

"We're like two old men aren't we?" I held up my scotch in a toast.

"Or just two men," he held up his.

Later we went for a walk around the gardens. I told him I wanted to move to a smaller house, closer to Chicago so the children could take a bus to school and so I could be close to the university. And, since I planned on teaching in the city, it would make more sense. "Plus," I said, "This isn't my home any more."
"No" he kept his gaze on the gardens as we passed. "Will you miss the gardens?"

"No."

"Remember how that was all you used to do? How much you loved it?"

"Yes."

"Why did you grow tired of it?"

I held his hand and stopped. He turned and looked at me. The moon was full and the deep blue and white light made the gardens visible and I could make out his expression. His eyes grew intent, stayed on me. He shrugged a little. I could see he was looking for something to say.

"It's all right," I said again, "really it is."

"I want to tell you how beautiful I think you are."

"I know what you think." I needed to stop him and keep our equilibrium. Although, it really didn't matter. He was leaving.

"It's cold. Should we go back to the house?" He asked.