Safety

Chapter 1

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Soundtrack

Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never ever feel rejected
Little miss aprehensiva
Said ooh, she fell in love

Corner - Allie Moss
There is nothing left to lose
So hold on to me,
I'll hold on to you

Look But Don't Touch - Juliet Shatkin
You know you're asking too much
So you can look
But boy you can't touch

***

My feet pound into the ground, harder and harder with each step. They shatter fallen autumn leaves, the sound of their crunches and that of my own heartbeat filling my ears. I focus on the noise, trying to put thoughts of them out of my head.

Trigger.

Thump-thump.

And Avery.

Thump-thump.

I push myself harder, until all I can feel is the burning in my lungs. There's no room for anything but the fire.

My footsteps start to fall shaky, my legs succumbing to the flame burning red in my chest. Almost against my own will, my hands fall to clutch my knees as I take deep, gasping breaths.

The doctors haven't cleared me yet, as my breathing is still unstable. But to hell with doctors.

They can't stop me.

I can't even stop me.

As my breathing regulates, I stand back up and stretch my arms over my head, arching my back. Once I feel sufficiently loosened up, I take off at a light jog towards home to get ready for school.

One thing I never got used to after coming home was waking up at a decent hour. I still end up awake at 4:00 most mornings, expecting for a fleeting second to be back at Osprey Point, waking up next to Avery.

But I can't think about that.

I can't think about him. About us.

Because, there is no us. Not anymore.

And sometimes, I wish there never was.

The clock reads 5:07 as I enter the house, Wally rushing forward to greet me. I scoop the dog up in my arms, pressing a kiss to his head. I kick off my shoes and head towards the stairs, setting Wally down at the base of the staircase before walking quietly to my bedroom, as to not wake my parents.

My parents. I find it hard to be around them now, despite their attempts to get to know me. I know they care about me, that I should at least try to let them in, but every time I see them, I can't help but think-

Well, I can't help but think that, if it weren't for them, I'd never had gone to Virginia.

I fall onto my bed and start to go through my phone. I have four new texts, each of them from a different boy I've gone out with in the past month or so, including the boy I saw a movie with last night. Or rather, made out with in the back of the theatre while a move played in the background.

Most of the texts are to ask me out again, and I roll my eyes, deleting them.

I'm not looking for a relationship, as I clearly stated to each one of them. My new motto is Use 'em and Lose 'em.