4
Remember
I don't remember how it feels to be warm.
I've just been cold so long.
Searching for pockets of warmth underneath covers,
For unshaded spots beneath canopies of leaves,
For the space between your arms when you circle them around me.
I don't know if I could handle myself if I ever stopped shaking those
cold Winter nights.
I don't know if I could handle myself if I ever started eating again.
I don't know if I could handle myself if I stopped being enough.
For you and for her and for him.
I don't know much,
But maybe I know that this time in my life,
This cold,
Lonely,
Pathetic time in my life
Will end one day.
