Unsent Letters

Because of you.

I think I am weak, but you say I am strong.

You've been the one to cause my weakness,

time and time again.

I didn't have much of a reason when I was near you.

I tried to stop loving you but I couldn't.

The pain was almost too much for me to bear.

You would keep on growing while I tear myself down, piece by piece.

The light I once saw is dwindling, sending me farther into a place,

A place I might not want to come back from.

It's taken me a while, but I've inched myself back;

Telling myself that I'm better than he could ever be.

I was doing well with it, until you came back.

For so long, I'd let you tear me down,

Thinking that you could be there for me.

But that was the naive side of me

Because you didn't care, you don't care, and you never will care.

Even though you've caused many walls and masks to be put up,

I've finally found someone to climb each wall and tear off the masks.

He's much better than you will ever be; could ever be to me.

And he's done something you couldn't ever do.

Love. A tricky, sticky thing.

It makes you wonder, and it makes you mad.

I wouldn't know what to say to describe the word love.

To say it's a feeling would be wrong because it's so much more than that.

It's not a remote thing that you can automatically switch on and off.

If it was that easy, you'd be gone from my life.

He who loves me though, he can stay.

Through it all he's learned to truly and whole heartedly, loves me.

He isn't fooling me like you did, and because of that I've opened up to him.

So this I say, because of you, I was weak.

Because of you, I learned to be a better person.

Because of you, I'm now stronger than I thought I could ever be.

But because of you, I will always wonder what I could have done differently.

Because of you I can not let go and let live. I won't truly enjoy my life.

Because of you.

I don't know if you might have gotten it but I am talking about two completely different people and the one person who is -let's say- bad for me is called you and the other is called he. I figured someone might get confused on that so here's the clarification to it.

-Stay Beautiful

Courtney