◄ you and me ◄ carl grimes

You And Me: Complicated.

 I finally exerted real energy and shoved him out of my way. 

"Carl, just kiss me. We don't have to make this a thing. I won't kiss and tell." Tegan pulled onto Carl even more. 

He wasn't sure what really came over him. He knew how he felt about me, but in a way, something excited him about a new person. He hated himself in a way, but he allowed the kiss and didn't retreat.

I walked out of the room only to see Carl with his arms around Tegan. There was no room between them, not even their lips.

"So it's true?" Immediately I had tears brimming my eyes. I couldn't comprehend what was even going on. I was watching the person I love more than anything betray me in such a horrible way. "Ella." Carl called out and as fast as he headed to me, I went back to the room and shut the door. 

Carl opened the door and rushed over to me. "Carl, get away from me." 

"It wasn't what it looked like, baby. You have to believe me."

"Do you hear yourself? You don't even believe that. Get your ass out of this room, I don't want to say it again." I sternly said. Carl and I were definitely ones for the dramatics. He didn't listen to me of course, so I took it upon myself to exit the situation and the room. 

"Ella." I heard Tegan call out as I descended down the stairs. "I have nothing to say to you." I didn't even bother eye contact with that piece of trash. I placed my hand on the knob of the front door and before I could make another exit, Tegan had the nerve to blurt out that she was sorry things between Carl and I didn't work out.

I felt my blood absolutely boil at that statement. 

"Tegan, seriously, fuck off before I make you."

I went outside and sat on the porch. I wasn't aware that Carol heard the exchange between Tegan and I. She opened the door and slightly smiled. She sat down next to me and wondered if I was ok. "Not at all, I haven't even processed any of this. Why would he do that to me?" I was swallowing back tears, honestly.

"Ed was the only person I ever gave myself to and that wasn't the ideal situation of love. I couldn't tell you why Carl did what he did, but it's not your job to figure out why he betrayed you like that. Just like it wasn't my job to understand why Ed was the piece of shit he was. Forgive him if you need to, but don't forget it. Move along, sweetheart."

It was sound advice Carol had given, and it was probably what I needed to hear the most. 

"I figured you and that Tegan girl wouldn't get along." Carol slightly chuckled and I did as well. Of course the the two teenage girls wouldn't get along. 

"If that's what he wants, I won't stand in the way and I certainly won't beg."

"I love you, Ella. That's really strong of you." I held onto Carol, because she truly made me feel so loved. She made me so grateful for her presence every time we talked. 

The daylight went by pretty quick and I had realized we were outside for quite some time. 

I got ready for bed and sat up alone in my bed. I felt like I was too numb to even cry anymore. I was really hurt beyond words, but I was right, I couldn't beg somebody to love me and not hurt me. I knew where my heart was and that was setting me back so hard, I couldn't do what Carl did to me. That was fucking me up.

I heard a knock at the door and I was fulling expecting it to be Carl. However it wasn't him, it just so happened to Ryne.

"Is it alright if I come in? Or do you want to come sit with me in the living room?" I allowed Ryne into my room and he sat at the edge of the bed. "I want you to know I really am sorry for dumping that on you. That wasn't my place to tell you what happened between Carl and my sister."

"Why did you then?"

"I could see how much you really loved Carl and I just really didn't think it was fair you could give your all to somebody like that just for them to betray you behind your back." Ryne definitely wasn't wrong about that, other than the fact he overstepped by dropping the cheating bomb on me the way he did.

Carl's POV

I sat in the office and was really upset with myself. I wanted to be in Ella's room with her, I wanted to fix this. I just couldn't shut up the part of my brain that felt excitement about Tegan. I wasn't sure why I felt that way. I knew I loved Ella more than anything in this world, but I also would be lying to myself if I said I only wanted to be with her. I hated myself for it.

"You enjoying ya own company in here?" Hershel asked, making his way inside. "Not really, just been thinking." I answered and he sat down next to me. "Ella won't talk to me, do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Hershel, I cheated on Ella with Tegan. I'm sorry I disrespected your daughter that way. I don't expect you to pat me on the back for it, but I really am sorry, she just won't hear it." I looked down and I fully expected hershel to rip me a new one, but he's always been a semi reasonable man.

"I was a teenage boy once, the circumstances back then were entirely different than what they are now. I just want you to know I can forgive you for how you hurt my daughter, but how she feels is up to her. If she wants to hear you eventually, talk, if not, it's her decision. Take it easy on yourself, son. The world is hard enough as it is.

Ella's POV

"I would have never done that to him, it makes me feel so shitty." I continued to vent to Ryne whom was being a great listener and really understanding me. "Is it ok if I hug you?" Ryne asked and he seemed sincere. He seemed like he really just wanted to aid my hurt in anyway he could that was within reason. I allowed the hug and it felt nice. He had a large chest and far bigger arms than Carl did, for sure.

Once Ryne pulled back, we were face to face. I hadn't admired him up close like this before. He had moles on both sides of his cheeks that raised when he smiled. His eyes were a soft brown and his facial features were prominent. You could've told me his jawline was chiseled by angels and I wouldn't question it. Ryne was very handsome.

I kissed his cheek and instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't worry, you had my consent. It was sweet, like you."

I enjoyed this little moment I had with Ryne, I did. I just couldn't forget the fact that I was still carrying Carl's child. Ryne had no knowledge of that and it was certainly not his business. I did remember that I also had two abortion pills with me. With me not wanting Carl in the picture and this being my body, taking the pills seemed like the sound option. At the end of the day, it was my body and my choice. I also had thought of it one day turning into a human being and that was weighing on me as well. I just know that the life we live right now is not what I would want to bring a child into living through as well.

I grabbed the pills and proceeded to the bathroom.