Aspire

Chapter 4

My head started to pound. I squeezed my hands together and my knuckles turned white. I could hear my mom explaining what was going on to Tyler. "Lilly-- you know Lilly, right?--" Tyler nods. "She has just been diagnosed with brain cancer, they just found a tumor that's been there for a while. The doctors don't know how much time she has." My brother sits down slowly, right next to me on the couch. "Oh." He looks down at his hands.
"Why didn't they know this earlier?" I burst out. "They could've found the tumor, they could've cured her." I wipe my tears and see the black smear on my hand from my mascara. I rubbed my eyes even more from frustration, not caring anymore. I didn't know how much time I had left with my best friend who was destined, now, to die.

•

"Hey, Lil." I knocked on the door of her bedroom after being let into the house by her mom. I walked in and sat on the bed next to her. "Hi, Crys. Did your mom like the portrait you painted?" She tried her best to smile, but the light in her eyes was fading. "Yeah, yeah she really did. Maybe I could do one of us sometime soon." I grinned, my lip quivering. She laid back her head and sighed. "Yeah, that'd be really cool."

After staying and chatting with Lilly for about an hour and a half, I talked with her parents and they said that I could take Lilly out sometime soon. I was glad to hear that, but I always had that dread in the back of my mind that it was because she would be gone soon. After all, the cancer had already spread so much. I walked out into the driveway got in the car, driving back to my house. I don't think I stopped crying at all as I drove a little slower to avoid going home. I didn't want to talk about Lilly at the moment. I was just lost in my own thoughts.

   After about an hour of aimless driving and three calls from my mom, I decided to head home. As soon as I walked in my mom gave me a hug and asked why I'd been gone so long. "Thinking," I responded as I pushed passed her and went into my room. I sat down and grabbed my sketch pad from the table next to me. I scribbled and sketched with no real purpose other than to let out my sadness some how. The marks on the paper started to run, and I realized my tears were dripping onto the paper. I wiped them off, took off all of my makeup, and plopped onto the couch in the living room. I checked my phone-- 7:00. I decided to watch TV until my mind slipped into sleep.

•

   After watching a season of BBC Sherlock on Netflix, I decided to go back to my room, saying goodnight to my mom and Tyler, who started to watch with me. "Goodnight, Crys. I'm sorry about Lilly. I'm gonna miss her, too." Tyler lay down on the couch. "Hey, the doctors are gonna try to help her. You can't give up. See ya in the morning." He lifted his hand as if to wave goodbye and I went into my room.

   I put my headphones on listened to my favorite playlist, consisting of a bunch of alternative, rock, and Indie bands. Addict With a Pen by Twenty Øne Pilots came on, and I started to think about life without my best friend. What would I do without her? She was what I relied on for encouragement and hope, other than my mom. Eventually, after listening to most of the songs, I drifted to sleep, tossing and turning and caught within my nightmares.

   The next morning I called Lilly and told her I'd come tomorrow and we could get lunch and do whatever she wanted to do. She sounded pretty excited, and I remembered how much she loved going out and exploring the town. I always thought Greenville was boring, and I always talked about moving to New York, or California, or even somewhere out of the country. Lilly always wanted to stay planted in one place, and never liked leaving her mom. She didn't have a dad either, and I feel like we bonded more from that. It was like we were each other's missing piece.

   I walked into the living room after starting a brew of coffee. My mom was eating toast and watching her own Walking Dead marathon on Netflix, sitting in her favorite blue chair. "What season?" I ask her. She looked over and responded, "Starting four." She took a bite of her toast and I smelled the coffee brewing. After about two more minutes I heard the beep of the coffee maker and poured a mug for me and Mom. Tyler was still asleep and didn't really like coffee that much, so I just left a glass out for him to pour juice or whatever he wanted.

   "Here you go, Mom." I handed her a mug of coffee with lots of cream, like she liked it. I like mine with a little cream, because I like the strong flavor. I set my mug on the coffee table and went back to the kitchen, grabbing a cereal bar and some of the strawberries I had bought, dropping them in a bowl. I set the bowl on the coffee table as well and my mom almost immediately grabbed a deep red berry.

   "These are really good," she said as she took another bite. I stared at her for a second and then we both laughed. "Then I guess I'll have to try one before you eat all of them." She grinned and Tyler walked out of his room, picked up the glass I set out, and poured some apple juice. "Hey, princess." I laughed. "Did you get enough beauty sleep?" He smiled and shoved me lightly as he sat down on the couch next to me. If Lilly will be gone soon, I thought, then I'm glad this family is there for me. We laughed and continued to watch the TV as Carol shot down another walker.