Rise and Fall [[BEING MOVED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT]]

Capter Seven

                    He shakes his head. "Nothing." But there's something. It's in everyone's eyes; not just his. The questioning way they look at me. The hopeful way they look at each other whenever I'm around. It scares me. It's something.

                    I let it go. Lying back across the bed with my arms tucked behind my head. It's been days since I've slept, and I long to close my eyes. I would, too. But every time I do, I'm back in the fire. I lose Keyne. And I scream.

                    "Are you going to tell him?"

                    "Yes. Soon."

                    The whispers float down the hall, and land in my ears. I cock my head towards the door. It's Adelaide. Adelaide and Sasha. I wonder vaguely who they're talking about, but in all reality, I really don't care. I'm too tired. I close my eyes, and attempt to relax. Resigned to the fact that sleep will never come easily. That nightmares are all I'll ever have. That they're a part of me. I sigh.

                    Footsteps recede, but others advance. There's a knock on our open door, and I open my eyes. Sasha stands between the frames. "Alek, can I talk to you?" She shifts her weight from one foot to the other. I sit up slowly, and turn to face her. Am I 'him'? I nod.

                    She nods too, but not to me. I cast a glance over my shoulder to see Tallan tip his head serenely in her direction. After a moment, his expression -usually tight- relaxes, and I almost see the faintest hint of a smile. A real smile.

                    More confused than ever, I turn back to Sasha. She locks eyes with me quickly, then disappears. I rise to follow her. As I reach the hall, she's already turned a corner further down. I jog to catch up.

                    Reaching her side, I slow to a walk. She glances at me, and I look at her questioningly. She seems to read my mind. "I have something I need to tell you. Something important." I raise my eyebrows, but she's already looked away.

                    My thoughts whirl as we stride deeper into the house. What does she have to tell me? Where are we going? My mind is full of what if’s as well, and I yearn to make them stop before I lose my mind completely. What if she found Keyne? What if he's dead? What if he's not? What if he's injured? What if he's sick? What if he's dying?

                    My mind tips. Sending the weaker questions tumbling into the abyss. The stronger ones scrape down the sloping plane as I try to make them relinquish their hold on me. They're heavier, though, and won't pull free. They whisper to me as they slip. Inch by agonizing inch.

                    What if.

                    What if.

                    What if.

                    "Come on. In here." Sasha pulls open a heavy door, and looks back to see me frozen in the middle of the hall. Eyes wide. Far away, and yet, so close. Her own eyes soften, and turn slightly sad. She feels for me. I know it. But she doesn't feel what I feel. No one does. No one knows what it's like. Not even Jacie and Raelyn, the girls who bear the marking of Fall. Not even they can feel my pain.

                    Sasha takes a step forward, and her hand brushes mine. Her touch breaks me. I make no sound, but tears trace my cheeks like little rivers. She takes another step, and destroys one of the streams. She strokes my cheek.

                    "They took my brother too. They’re using him as a bargaining chip."

                    Her chin trembles once, and she blinks. Hard. She shakes her head. She smiles.

                    Why can't I be that strong? 

                    She squeezes my hand, and pulls me through the door, and into the room beyond.

                    It's an office. With dark bookcases, light walls, and a large portrait of a small man that hangs behind an official-looking desk. Sasha sits on the desk. Forcing me to take a seat in front of her. My chair squeaks as I settle into it, and its color reminds me of the deepness of the forest that looms around the house. Obscuring any other view. I sit back. Looking at her expectantly.

                    She takes a deep breath.

                    "I know this may come as a shock to you, and may be hard to believe, but just hear me out. What I'm about to tell you is true. I wouldn't tell you if it wasn't."

                    She takes another breath.

                    "Are you ready?"

                    I hesitate.

                    I nod.