Rise and Fall [[BEING MOVED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT]]

Chapter Four

Four

                    No five words have ever sounded so good. And the funniest thing is, I believe her. This girl I've just met. I believe her. Trust her. And -I flush again as I think it- want her. She's the first girl I've been anywhere near since Summer. Months ago. Ages. Lifetimes.

                    I realize I'm staring. I drop my eyes. Crossing my arms tight over my shivering body. Discreetly, I look back up. She's staring at me. Our eyes meet. So much for being discreet. My hands burn against my biceps as inner heat begins a slow, burning path through my veins. The rest of me convulses uncontrollably. The fire can't banish the ice. My teeth chatter, and I can feel the ridges of goose-bumps on my arms. I clench my teeth to stop the noise, but it's too late. Sasha notices.

                    "There's a blanket in the back seat," she says. Her eyes returning to the windshield. "And a change of clothes if you want them."

                    I do. I want to be warm. I'd do anything to be warm. I reach into the back seat and fish out a pair of sweatpants, a loose t-shirt, and a scratchy army blanket. I shove it down by my feet, though my frozen body screams in protest. I silence it. Clothes first.

                    I quickly peel off my jeans. Color rising in my cheeks as I steal a glance at Sasha. Her gaze is dutifully ahead. I slide the sweatpants on. They're warm. Even over the damp material of my boxers.

                    I don't hesitate. I strip off my sweatshirt. Feeling the shivery cotton un-cling itself from my chest and back, and I feel Sasha's eyes on me. Raking me. Lingering.

                    "Nice abs." I grin internally. Proud of myself for keeping up my appearance. That's what happens when you have a lonely house full of heavy objects, empty floors, and nothing but time on your hands. You do anything to outrun the boredom.

                    "Thanks." My voice cracks. Ruining the effect. She smiles. Hiding a laugh behind her perfect full lips, while I hide my embarrassment by pulling the shirt over my head. It's huge, but I don't care. At least I'm warm. It settles, outlining the muscle of my shoulders, and I lean back against the passenger seat. Pulling the army blanket up to my neck. We're quiet. Confined to the awkwardness that defines us in this moment. Each stealing glances at the other while the car bumps and jostles.

                    "So," I say. Breaking the silence, against my better judgment. Normally I would let the silence grow, and think nothing of it. But silence doesn't seem quite right here. "Nice car you've got."

                    "Thanks," she says. Nodding at the trees. I shiver slightly.

                    "You're welcome."

                    Her lips twitch upward, and my head flicks towards her, then back forwards again.

                    "You're horrible at keeping up a conversation.”

                    I redden. "Well what am I supposed to say?" I ask. My voice quiet. "I don't normally even say this much." The red deepens further. What am I doing, letting her see through me like this? I may trust her, but I never let anyone in. And I don't want to start now.

                    "How about thank you. For saving your life."

                    I turn to her, and she turns to meet me. She's waiting. Her eyes find mine, and I find myself within them. "Thank you for saving my life,” I say, and mean it.

                    Her eyes drop, and she turns away again. Shying away from the emotion. "You're welcome."

                    I lean back against the seat. Vocally spent. Closing my eyes, I let the jostling of the car rock me to sleep. I’m under quickly. The first time in months. It’s like Sasha personifies some magic spell that doesn’t allow my wall to come up. For once, I have no guard.