Binary Skies

Chapter 13: Mistake and Mistaken

Suddenly feeling like he couldn't breathe, Luke rose from his spot in the lounge and locked himself in the refresher, bracing himself against the sink with his head bowed low, breathing coming a little heavier with every passing second. He wanted to scream in frustration for scaring away someone that was becoming rather important to him, but he couldn't because the other occupants of the ship would hear, and he didn't want an audience to his pain.

In a physical, short display of his frustration, shame, and anger towards himself, Luke violently tore out of his shirt, tossing it into the corner before turning to the mirror and staring intently at the offending marks on his skin.

Imperial Jedi...that was all anyone was ever going to see, or at the very least the Imperial mark. one way or another, the symbols burned into his skin were going to bring misery and pain everywhere he went, pushing away everyone he wanted to stay without him being able to do anything about it. Tears of pain and anger slipped past his eyes and he grit his teeth, trying to control the violent tremors that were racking his body as he tried not to lash out or sob. As a result, a strangled sound broke past his lips and the mirror in front of him cracked, the image distorted perfectly so that if Luke looked up the brand on his neck wouldn't be visible in the mirror. Another crack appeared where the brand on his chest would be in the reflection as Luke lost his inner battle and broke down, sinking to the floor as his emotions overwhelmed him. He buried half his face in his left hand, curling in on himself as he just let everything he'd been bottling up bleed out of his heart.

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Anakin sat in the pilot's seat, feeling Luke's internal battle seep through their Force connection. Nakari was already asleep—that hadn't taken long, he mused—and so it was just the men now.

He ached for his son, and he could feel the anger in Luke rise, heard the crack of glass, and then he felt Luke's utter sorrow wash over him in a tidal wave. Anakin silently cursed the Imperials once more and then stood, unable to take this anymore.

He made his way to the refresher, tested the handle and discovered it locked. Anakin put his ear to the door to make sure Luke was in fact decent, then used the Force to unlock it. He opened the door and caught sight of Luke shirtless while the loose garment lay ripped and discarded in the corner. His son was curled into a ball while he covered his face. Only, when Anakin walked in, Luke tensed, looking away.

Anakin said nothing, but he also refused to leave. He closed the door once more and then settled down next to Luke on the floor, offering his silent support.

For a few moments Luke didn't take the support, feeling almost like he didn't deserve it. But after a particularly painful throb of his heart he leaned into his father, allowing the older Skywalker to give the support he'd silently offered.

What was he supposed to do now? He'd accidentally pushed Nakari away—he hadn't meant or wanted to. He doubted she'd be able to be in the same room as him for long now, and that thought hurt, more than he'd thought it would.

Anakin breathed a muted thanks to the Force when Luke leaned into him, wrapping a loving arm about him and pulled Luke closer, gently resting his head against his son's. He sought for something to say, but wasn't sure if words would be helpful right now, so he settled for just holding Luke while the youth wept. He would allow Luke to open up if and when he was ready.

Luke buried his face in Anakin's chest, heart throbbing painfully as he spoke around his tears. "I really messed up this time..." he whispered, voice cracking like the mirror. "I didn't mean to, and...she looked so scared..."

Anakin chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, and then spoke what he knew to be the truth.

"No, you didn't push her away completely," he murmured to Luke. "You gave her a shock, yes, but she'll recover. She just hasn't yet seen you outside of your normal, happier self." He gave Luke a gentle squeeze. "We all have emotions, and we all have our issues; it's what makes us mortal."