The It Girl

Chapter Five

I awake up in a hospital. I look over and see, my sister crying, she's sobbing at the side of my bed. I gently move my hand and stroke her long black hair. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Mom! She's up," she yells.
Oh great!

My mom walks in and sees me. No signs of crying, or any sign of pain. I don't think my mom can feel sadness, just anger. She gives me a disappointed look. I look over at Amber and she's wiping off all her tears.

"What happened," I ask Amber like I didn't already know.
"You were at Bethany's and you passed out by the lack of food," my mom says before Amber says anything.
"But mom," Amber says.
"No, Amber! I can't lose anymore money by your sister's mistake," my mom yells. She walks out the room shutting the door.

"You were at Bethany's party and someone put something in the drinks, and since you barely eat, the substance didn't agree with your stomach. You could have died," Amber explains.

"Oh, well," I say and shrug my shoulders.

"What's wrong with you, you used to be happy," she says.

Happy? No! I haven't been happy since middle school, when mom was still smiling and dad was still alive! I was happy when I still loved Nate! I was happy before I knew I loved Holly! I was happy when I knew who I was! Now, I'm just lost. I'm lost and scared.

I look at her and burst out in tears. "I'm lost, Amber! I'm lost," I sob. She sits on my bed, next to me and hugs me close. I let the tears run, I let the pain show. She rubs my back, as I sob. She doesn't know all the pain, I've gone through. How confused I am, how much I just want to be normal, or have Holly.

After I slowly stop crying, she starts to pull away. "Amber," I whisper. "Yeah," she replies. "Can I talk to you," I ask. She nods.

"You can't tell anyone," I say.
"Okay, I won't."
"Promise?"
"I, Amber, promise I won't tell a single soul."
"I'm bisexual."

A grin appears at the horizon of her lips. Amber wraps her arms around me and gives me a bone crushing hug. I whine in pain. My ribs were very sensitive, for some reason.

"Sorry, I forgot about the bruise," she explains loosing the hug.
Ahhh, a bruise.
"It's okay," I whisper.
"I'm so happy for you," she says.

Yeah, you wouldn't be if you knew, I kissed your best friend. I'm sorry Amber, but I love your best friend.

"Thank you for excepting me for who I am, but you can't tell people. Bethany would die and never talk to me again, Nate would make me do a threesome with a hot blonde, and mom would flip," I explain.

"Who cares what they think, you should be yourself without a care in the world," she says.

But I do care, I care a lot. I have to be perfect, remember?

"Maybe one day," I yawn.
"Here, you go to bed. I'll be here," she suggests. I nod in response. I lay back in the uncomfortable hospital bed. I pull the thin, ugly bed sheets on me and fall asleep.

*dream*

Kids run to the colorful playground, without a care in the world. Happy kids, not haven't to deal with pressure or stress. I sit down at the picnic table, watching the happy children play. A tear escape my eyes.

"Aw, babe, why are you crying," a voice like Holly's says. I look up and it's Holly. I smile.

"Sorry, sweetie, I just miss the good old days," I reply. She sits down next to me and I rest my head on her shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, soon it will just be us," Holly says.
"I just want to be myself."
"You will be, soon. You don't need your mother, you don't need Nate or Bethany. You have me."
"I have you."
"Yup, I'm yours."

I look at her and kiss her soft sweet lips. She kisses back, lovingly. Our lips perfectly moving, like our first kiss. Sparks flying, butterflies going crazy, fireworks feel like they're going off. We pull away and rest our foreheads on each other's.

"I love you."
"I love you, too."