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Chapter 5

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Part 5- Paul's P.O.V

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...I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over top of me, shutting my eyes as tight as I could in order to escape reality. Soon enough I was happily greeted with deafening silence and an empty mind, or so I believed.

I was standing on a dark street with a few street lights to make it possible only to make out shapes in the dark. I was standing next to one of the lights, seeing a few cars drive past me. The air was chilling and created a spooking atmosphere to this place. I could recognize Mimi's house across the street, and saw a figure making its way over towards me. I'm not sure what I was doing there, but something didn't feel right about the scene around me. The wind was blowing fiercely, causing my hair to get in my eyes. I tried to focus on my surroundings and see how to get back home, but suddenly the only thing I could hear was the shrill, mind-numbing scream that echoed in my ears.

I stumbled back and tried to catch my balance, but I fell anyways. As I sat on the cold sidewalk, I could barely make out the picture in front of me due to the darkness. Fear coursed through my veins, paralyzing me as I saw the body of John's mum, Julia, hitting the hard concrete below us. I tried to yell for help but the words never made it out of my mouth, I felt frozen in place. I closed my eyes tightly, pretty sure that I was going to throw up. I felt the cold ground beneath me disappear under my finger tips, replaced by the feeling of soft grass. I opened my eyes cautiously, sighing in relief at what I saw. Now I was at Mimi's house, sitting on the ground in the same position I had been in before. I approached her door slowly and knocked on it. It swung open swiftly, almos hitting me in the face. Mimi shook her head at me disapprovingly and she answered my question before I even began to ask for John. "I'm sorry, you can't see him right now." She said.

"Why not?" I asked, trying to see behind her and into the house. She rolled her eyes as if it were obvious. "He doesn't want to see you. He hates you now because of what you did." She said, stepping back and shutting the door in my face.

I woke with a start, breathing heavily. I could almost hear the frantic beating of my heart as I tried to recollect my thoughts and calm down. That was a strange nightmare, one that made me feel extremely cold and empty inside. The horrid dream about Julia echoed through my head, replaying the accident over and over. And if that visual weren't awful enough, the second part of my dream definitely made up for it. It was true. John hates me. He thinks I'm a soddin' queer.

I couldn't understand it, it didn't make much sense to me at all really. I'd never kiss another man, John was the only one to make me feel that way. I was attracted to him, and as much as I tried to deny it to myself, it was true. That wasn't so bad, was it? As long as I didn't act on it, it might be okay. It'll all pass soon, and hopefully John will forget

. I shook my head unsurely and stood up, wanting to find something to do to keep my mind off of him. I couldn't though, no matter what I tried. There was seriously something wrong with me. It was John, for Christ's sake.

My friend.

My bandmate.

Nothing more.

I wasn't going to let this become a problem. I'll ignore John until he forgets, if that's what it takes. I'm not letting this get to me, and I definitely will not think about John as anything more than simply John.

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This chapter goes out to @_beatlemaniaaa because she leaves lovely comments