Greegs & Ladders

Chapter 20

                                                 CHAPTER 20

                                                    Kroonum

Kroonum is a blue-spotted Zeta Sun that provides warmth and life for 27 planets. Not one of these planets is mellow or uninhabited. They all suffer major problems of overpopulation and a lack of sleep.

If New York is the city that never sleeps, then Kroonum is the Solar System that has never even heard of sleep. There are simply too many exciting things to do to even consider the notion of falling asleep. To sleep for even the shortest amount of time while in Kroonum is to miss at least several unprecedented and historically life-changing events in galactic history. The last time someone stepped out for a nap they ended up missing the resurrection of The Beatles, as well as the 12-hour reunion concert that followed shortly thereafter.

The seemingly endless show ended with a complete front-to-back rendition of Abbey Road, played against the stirring backdrop of Kroonum's famous Whizzling-Firebeam asteroid shower (an event that is believed will only happen four times, ever). This was the third time it had happened. The person who'd stepped out for a nap was later informed of the excellence of The Beatles, and was also told he would do best not to miss the next Whizzling-Firebeam asteroid shower. He ended up missing it on account of being dead, as the fourth and final asteroid shower did not occur for hundreds of years (or 89,126.3 zillion Schmickian years, if you want to get precise in the matter).

"Where are we?" asked Rip.

Wilx looked around confusedly. "We've just undergone an unrequested hyperspacial jump."

"I know... but where exactly did we jump to?"

"I'm trying to figure that out," said Wilx as he scrambled through the star charts. "Look over there... I see a planet missing its top half. Could that be the legendary Clug Raddo?"

"What's Clug Raddo?" asked Krimshaw.

"A planet that lost its northern hemisphere due to the climactic event of the Dishwashing Chronicles."

"What happened in the Dishwashing Chronicles?"

"We'll tell you about it later. For now I need to focus on the fact that we've jumped many universes in the complete opposite direction from the planet Hroon and the sunned district of Herb."

"Do we have any pomegranates?" asked Rip.

"Uh, what are pomegranates?"

"Did the rest of the fleet make the hyperspacial jump with us?" asked Krimshaw.

"Good question. At least someone is having relevant thoughts around here."

Wilx tracked the fleet.

"Hmm... there are only 16 Obotrons currently following us. It seems a couple of the ships didn't make the jump at all."

"What does that mean?" asked Krimshaw. "Two of the ships are still in another universe? Their crew members are just floating around aimlessly?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like that. They've assuredly perished by now."

"What?"

"Without the guidance system of Obotron 1 they were probably sent crashing into the surface of the nearest planet. Or, if you prefer, careening into the vacuum of the nearest black hole. Or maybe they burned up in the infernos of the nearest Red Giant. One thing is certain, they were destroyed by the nearest object of dangerous proportions."