Question Marks ➳ Camren

Five

Heart shattering on my ribcage, I twist back to the television. That look had been so quick, so brief, but so powerful. With the ferocity of a speeding train I felt it slam into me, hurling itself right in my face and not allowing me to ignore it. I don't blink as I watch Eric's ship catch fire and rescue his dog, I don't react at all when he throws himself off of the boat and lands into the unforgiving waves. Ariel panics and swims toward him, grabbing him around the chest and bursting back to the surface, to safety. He would have surely drowned without her, sank right to the bottom of the ocean where the pressure would have crushed him. He would have died.

I feel Camila across the couch. I don't look at her because not only do I already know she's there, but my body is hyperaware of that; every hair rising as if to draw closer to her, my body prickling with goosebumps. I wonder who is the drowning victim here and who is the lifesaving mermaid. Just because she looks like a Princess doesn't make her Ariel. She could be crumbling under the pressure. I could be the one with the fins.

The film moves on. We don't say a word. Camila stops saying the lines to herself. In fact, I'm the one with the reactions, flinching when Ariel's father destroys her possessions in the cavern, secretly retaining the urge to tell Ariel to run away when Ursula lures her in with the promise of legs. I feel stupid. This is a kids' movie with highly unrealistic interpretations on how love is supposed to work, and I'm all tangled up in it. It's almost like it's real, like this girl really is giving up her voice for a chance to become a part of a world she doesn't understand, to try and be with someone she claims to love. I find myself frowning at the television, attempting to drown out my discomfort with how tied I am to the plot of the movie with anger. I try to convince myself how stupid Ariel is for giving up the life she had before, as a Princess, for God's sake, and a freakin' mermaid - she had everything, and she's going to throw it away for someone she doesn't even understand?

My throat sticks when I try to swallow. I cross my arms tightly over my chest. Ariel washes up on the shore and Eric stumbles upon her, bringing her to his castle. I dare another look at Camila, once again engrossed in the story, but she's turned toward the arm of the couch, tucked into it like she wants to fade away. Frowning, I take a deep breath through my nose. "You okay?" I can't not ask her - her fingers are caged over her mouth and she looks so small, not the Camila I'm used to. I can't help but be worried.

Brown eyes focus on me, blinking rapidly like hummingbird wings before she breaks through with a smile. "The Little Mermaid's on and I'm watching it with you - of course I'm okay!"

But her voice is higher than usual, and tense, a bowstring ready to snap. I continue to frown at her before raising the popcorn bowl off of the middle cushion. "You better come eat some of this before I pig out."

Her arm extends, silently asking for it, but I pull it toward me, keeping it on my side of the couch. "You want it? Come get it."

A grin bursts across her face. Giggling, she crawls across the couch. I hold the popcorn bowl over the arm of the couch behind my head as Camila clambers on top of me, her legs tangled in mine. "Lauren, give me the popcorn!"

Throwing my head back, I laugh as I extend the bowl even further out of her reach. Camila grunts, her knees shifting across my stomach to rest on either side of my hips. I ignore the pool of heat in my gut. I ignore the weight of her settling on top of my waist, and I definitely ignore the swell of her breasts as she tries to lean over me, grasping for the bowl. My free hand strikes her in the side, twisting and pinching. I feel her muscles tighten as another bubble of laughter slams out of her. Her torso twists with the tickling, her hair sweeping across my cheeks like cool, whispering breezes.

"Lauren!" She twists again, leaning back, and her fingers lock around my hand and yank it away. Ducking down, her face hovers inches above my own. I feel my smile start to freeze and melt at the same time, because I can smell the butter on her breath from the popcorn. "Two can play at that game."