Into The Blue

Should've Known Better

Should've Known Better

My body's grown cold

My lips have turned blue

As I stare down at my body, thinking, 

Why did I do this?

Was it because of you? 

I feel the earth beneath me

Like a soft pillow, under my head, 

There are no knives or guns, 

But there are pills, instead

The bottle is next to me

It's empty; the cap's unscrewed

What did I do?

This was all because of you

My spirit floats away

And there, my lover finds me

As he kneels down, his hands press together

And he sits beside me to pray

When I reach for him, I'm sucked away

The deep crest swallows me

From inside death's waves

I watch him from a distance

His hands pounds into the ground

He's screaming, "Why, oh why?

What did you leave me for?

Could I not do enough? 

Did life grow too bored?" 

I hold back my tears

I know my time has come

But I watch them all, 

Wondering how I could be so dumb

My parents have arrived, 

My best friend is there, too, 

And I think to myself, 

"Why have I done all of this to you?" 

The pain is too deep

And I look away

My life has finally came to it's end

But at what cost?

The pain I felt is now buried in others

And I wonder to myself

"Will I be the cause for another?" 

I look back, just taking a last glance, 

They're zipping me into the body bag

I did this all to ease my pain

But instead, I've lost

And haven't gained

I watched my family, 

Looking down on them, 

And I realize something

But now's the end

I regret that night

My life stopped ticking

I regret the fighting

And I wonder if I can carry on through the battle

If I've already gone