What You're About To Find Out...(Confessions #2)

Chapter 3: Are You Okay?

We all ordered dessert. Jake and I decided to share a milkshake. Chocolate fudge swirl. Yummy!! We kept giggling at each other. Then his sister finally asked how we happened to be a couple now. So, Jake and I took turns telling the (well, our) story. I just couldn't get over how Jake told the story with his specific gestures and facial expressions, never leaving a single detail out, telling the story more with body language than anything. You can tell how he actually felt or how he thought someone else felt. 

I just hate how my thoughts keep drifting back to my parents and Daniel. Why can't my parents listen to me this one time when something horrible and amazing has happened to me? How can they not listen to their little girl when she has been hurt? Do they just not care about me at all? How could Daniel do that to me? Did HE not care at all? The memories of all those times flash through my mind everyday and haunt me everynight. Does he deal with that? I....

"Annabelle?" I look up to see all three of them looking at me with concern. Had I missed a question or my cue to smile and laugh and play it off as if everything was okay? 

"Yes?" I manage to choke out. Neither Marie nor Gracie knows about what happened, only Jake. 

"Are you okay?" Marie questions. I nod, knowing that if I talk my voice will give me away. 

"Can Anna-Bee and I be excused? I'd like to go take a walk with her." Jake more-in less excuses himself and stands up waiting for me. While Marie nodded and looked unsure of the sitiuation, I thanked Gracie for coming and told her how great it was to see her again and hugged Marie. I walked behind Jake until we exited the diner.

"Annabelle, are you okay?" Jake turns toward me, concern, sincerity written all over his face. I swallow and bite my tongue to hold the tears back. If I speak, I'll crack. So, I shrug. 

"Don't so this to me. Don't block me out and push me away. I know I can't say I understand or know what you're going through but I do know I'll be here for you. Please, don't push me away."

"Can we just walk for a bit, please?" He nods and we begin walking down the sidewalk, side by side, not touching. I just keep my head down trying NOT to think of Daniel and how my parents are treating me. 

I can tell Jake wanted to hold my hand but I know he doesn't want to push things on me. After a couple minutes, I reach over and grab his hand. I walk him over to an empty bench in front of a closed down hardware shop. 

"Jake..."

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"Do you think I should tell on Daniel?" I blurt knowing it would only hurt worse trying to say it less bluntly. His face was full of shock and disbelief but quickly recovered to concern again. He just cocked his head at me. "I just don't know. I mean, would people even believe me?" 

"I believed you..." He kinda shrugs.

"I know but.."

"But..you don't think anyone will listen or care. They do and they will. Just go for it. You could possibly save someone else from hurt and help someone who might have went through it, too, get some justice." I look down at our fingers, intertwined, almost too perfectly. Why do I feel like I don't deserve this? This relationship? Him and his honesty? Why do I feel so horrible? 

"Did I say something wrong?...." He asks breaking me from my miserable thoughts. 

"No, it's just..."

"You don't want to relive it?" I look up into his puppy brown eyes. What did I ever do to deserve this faithful, understanding, and respectful man? I simply, nodded at him, holding back tears. I didn't want to cry but I knew I would need to soon or later. Just the thought of telling on him, brought back the memories, the threats, and a sickening feeling that I was going to regret this all. Jake hesitantly pats my hand. That's the only thing we've really done is held hands, hug and only at the dance, did we kiss. I can't do much because the thought of Daniel ruins it. Not that I see Daniel when I see Jake..that's just what happens when I get touched.