The Beginning of the End (Peterick)

Chapter 17

-Pete-

I'm starting to feel weak. I get light headed and dizzy when I make sudden movements and I'm moving especially slow. I haven't told Patrick I haven't eaten since the other day, but I think he's starting to catch on. He gives me worried looks and heavy sighs. I told him yesterday that there isn't any food left, but I found a can of soup in the car underneath blankets and bags.

Now it's breakfast and I'm watching Patrick and Bronx eat the last of the soup together. I told Patrick that I already had some before the two of them woke up, but he gave me a look of disappointment. We exchanged small glances, and I tried to play it off innocently through smiles, but he never smiled back. He only gave me sad looks with worried eyes. Giving up, I looked out the window down into the city streets and watch the light snow fall flutter in the wind.

Sometimes, I ponder why I keep going? I wonder what the point is. At what point does living become only surviving? Are the three of us actually living, or merely surviving. There isn't anything to look forward to anymore. I know how the next day is going to play out. How next week will play out. Hell, I can predict how next month will play out, and it's going to be the same it has been for three years now. I stared at my reflection in the window, and even though I wonder these thing, I already know the answer. It's always for Bronx. I could see Patrick get up and walk towards me through the reflection in the window.

"Pete..."

"Yeah?" I turned and looked at him.

"You need to stop this."

"Stop what?" I asked.

"Pete... I know what you've been doing..."

"Nothing? Yes... That tends to happen when there is nowhere to go."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?"

"Please don't play stupid and with me." Patrick begged.

Silence...

"You two need it more than I do." I said looking out the window.

"What's the point of Bronx living if you're not there with him." Patrick asked.

I looked over to Bronx and saw him looking through one of his old book, reading to himself softly.

"Because at least if I'm not here, he would still have you and not be completely alone. My life doesn't matter. His does."

"Your life matters to me." He said

"Bu-" I was interrupted.

"It matters to Bronx. You are literally all he has! He already lost a mother, you think he can go on without his father?" Patrick argued. "You think that at this point, after everything that I can go on without you?" He said, his eyes turning red as tears surfaced.

"Patrick I-" was interrupted again.

"I was alone for so long. And even before then most people I saw and talked too I didn't even like. I finally find someone who can love me. Who I can love and he's throwing his life away in front of me!" Tears fell from his face, onto the carpet of the floor as he paced back and forth in face.

"Patrick! Stop!" I yelled, causing him to freeze in place and look at me. I glanced over at Bronx and saw he had a concerned look. "It's fine Bronx. Finish your book so you can tell me about it." I told Bronx.

I pulled Patrick into the bed room and closed the door behind us.

"I'm so sorry. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." I pulled him into a hug. "I just want to make sure he has his best chance, and I want you to be as healthy as you can be because I need you." I told him, but he pulled away from me.