Chapter 8

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-Patrick-

I think the hardest part is leaving everything behind and starting again. My life was spent here and I feel like this is my city. I know where I'm going, but I don't know how to get there and I'm left wondering if this will be for something, or all for nothing. My white knuckles grip the steering wheel with reluctance. I turned the key letting the soft humming and rumble of the engine fill the car.

There's nothing keeping me here and there's two reasons to leave in the car with me. Nostalgia is the only thing keeping me anchored and its weighing like a ton, keeping me from taking me foot off the break.

"Are we ready to go?" I asked Pete, half hoping his answer would be no.

"As ready as we'll ever be." Pete responded.

He didn't seem to noticed my hesitation in lifting my foot off the break. Or my hesitation in starting the car for that matter. The car rolled out the driveway, leaving tracks in the ashen snow and showing the empty world where we are going.

I purposefully took detours to the interstate to say good bye to my favorite places. My favorite IHOP. My favorite bar. My favorite theatre. The park with my favorite cork tree that I sat under in my worst moments and my best moments. I took mental images of all these places, considering I'll never see them again.

I remember going to all these places when there was sun. The light would shine through the window as I ate my omletes and drank hot tea in IHOP and the cork tree would give me shade from the sun on hot days. Now I see in a world of black and white and faded colors.

"Are you okay?" Pete asked from the passenger seat.

"Yeah.." I responded.

"I know its hard to let go, but what else can we do?"

"Nothing. That's the worst part. My life has already been uprooted enough, and all that remained constant was this place, and now even that is being taken away from me." I said with my eyes on the road.

"It will all be worth it in the end."

"I hope so." I said ending the conversation.

I drove to Lake Michigan, having to see it one last time. It was frozen over in a thin sheet of ice made gray by the reflection of the sky. These waters use to be the most beautiful part of the city, but now it's dead like the rest of the world. I sat in the car staring, hoping for something to change at the last minute until Pete put his hand on my knee. 

"We have to go now Patrick." He told me softly.

"I know..." I said as I turned the car around heading for the interstate.

We drove by, leaving Chicago behind and my past with it. We drove through the suburbs of the city, and soon we were out in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. Everything is so much more... Empty out here. I thought Chicago was bad? No. At least there were building to take up space and block the view of the rest of the world. Out here you could see everything. Or the lack of everything I should say. The world looks like a desert of ash, mounds of it stacked up in the fields. How the roads are clear? I will never know. Perhaps the lack of grass underneath to grasp it and keep it grounded from the wind. I don't know much about science.

"Do we have any CD's? I don't like silence." Pete said.

"It's been silent for like two hours now. Why are you just now saying something?" I asked.

"I thought you wanted it quiet."

"I did. But I don't like silence either. Too many thoughts I guess. Look in the back seat on the floor." I told him.

He turned around and reached towards the floor of the car. All I heard was a bunch of CD cases rustling around and a gasp.

"I love Green Day!!" He said excitedly as he put it in the CD player. "We have to keep it low. Bronx is sleeping."

The first song began playing and I almost died internally. Of joy. It's been years since I've heard music that isn't mine.

"I walk a lonely road, the one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's home to me and I walk alone." I started singing. I remembered every lyric as if I heard it yesterday. I felt Pete's gaze burn into me. "Are you okay?" I stopped singing and asked.

"Yeah I'm fine... You're just... You're just an amazing singer is all. Nothing big."

"If you say so... I remember when I saw Green Day in concert. I think I died a few times" I reminisced on the memory.

The rest of the day was us telling stories. We told each other a little bit of everything. Writing music, seeing our favorite bands, stories of family and friends. Bronx soon woke up and we all told each other things that mattered before the world changed.

"You know Patrick... I think now the only important things in my life are you and Bronx." He said smiling.

"Same... But about you... Seriously though, you guys give me a reason to go on."

"Yeah... We should find a place to sleep... I'm tired and so is Bronx." He said. I looked in the review mirror and Bronx was falling asleep again.

"Well it is our lucky day because look!" I said as I pointed to a small house use that looked empty

"Let's go!!"

We drove to the house and parked outside. Pete and I got wood from the trunk and started a fire in the fire place of the house and soon, we were all passed out on the floor under our blankets. As I was falling asleep, I heard Pete gasp. Before I could get up and see what was going on, I felt a blunt pain in the back of my head, then everything went black.

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I suck at this. I apologize.
-Matthew

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