sired • luke hemmings/5sos [au]

nineteen // jumping over hurdles

LUKE JUST STANDS THERE, STARING at me in what I can only describe as shock.

"Well?" I prompt, his silence making me nervous. "Can you?"

He shakes himself out of his daze. "Yeah," he says. "But I won't."

I blink at him, trying to see if he is just an illusion, and that he didn't just say that he won't do it. But he's still here, a stern look on his face as he stands rigidly. I choke on my own breath.

"What?"

"Ridley," he says, "I'm not going to erase you memories."

"Why not?" I'm angry now, and hurt, and betrayed. "Luke, I don't think you get-"

"No, Ridley, you don't get it!" He's yelling at me, his face red. Why is he yelling at me? I'd do it for him! "To erase your memories I'd have to drain you until you're almost dead, that's where the memories are stored. That's why I almost killed Max! The only reason that I didn't kill him was because you were there to stop me. All of that power...it's addicting. Once I start, I can't stop, and the energy that holds your memories is strong, so strong. It makes it hard to stop. So no. I won't do it. I'm going to risk losing you like that."

My mind is reeling. I thought that when Ashton said Luke can see a person's memories, they just came away as he drained them, not at the very end. A lump forms in my throat, but I refuse to give up. I won't. "I can't live-"

"Can't live with what? The memories?" He grits his teeth, interrupting me. "You're not the only one who's had this happen to them. There are plenty of people out there who have been through the same thing as you, but they don't have boyfriends who can get rid of their memories. Want to know how they get through it? They move forward, or they get justice. And that's exactly what you need to do."

"What do you mean?"

Luke sighs, comes towards me, and takes my face in his hands. "I don't know how to say this, but whenever you see a chance, you need to..." He pauses, finding the words. "You need to ruin him."

"I will," I say weakly, unable to say anything else. His presence numbs me; I can feel it so much that my bones ache to touch him, to be a part of him. "I just don't know how."

After all, what good can come out of going after him without forming some sort of plan? I don't know how or when I got so violent, but rage swims through my body, and suddenly I want to kill Jace. I've never been much of a supporter of violence, but I couldn't care less any more.

Luke smiles this wicked smile that makes his eyes darken slightly. "You use your powers. You can torture him so much that people will believe he's delusional, then you won't get caught out."

I stare at him, at loss for words. "You think I'm capable of doing that?"

He nods. "Yes," he says, "I've always admired your strength."

I give him a weak, almost sad smile. Never in my life has anyone thought of me as strong. When we were younger, Calum used to pretend that he was my personal body gaurd, and from the moment I met Ashton, he's always been defensive over me. I was always the one being protected, but now, looking at Luke, I don't feel like I need anything protection; I feel strong.

I don't speak, I just guide my arms around him and pull him into an embrace. He wraps his arms around me, tugging me closer to him. This is nice; this is familiar. The sparks start to explode, and I feel warmer, like he's radiating heat that I can't see.

Then he whispers sweetly too me, "I love you," and I smile a real smile, it stretches up my cheeks, and suddenly I'm grinning.

I don't know how long we stand like this for - it may be hours or it may be minutes - but all I know is that I don't want it to stop. I want to stay in his arms forever, and forget about all of the problems in my life.