Letters to my Dad

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My older brother Louis was singing his lungs out in the shower, something unusual for him, but I figured he was trying to become more like our dad.

I knocked on the door, "hurry up in there! I need to pee!"

The singing continued.

"Louis, how much longer are you going to take?"

The singing continued. Then someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around. It was Louis.

He said, "Calm down Harry. I'm not in the bathroom. Is the door locked? Lemme see if I can jimmy it open for you"

He opened the door with ease. The bathroom was empty. No singing. The shower wasn't running, but the tub was wet.

I walked in and started brushing my teeth, amused by what had just happened. I noticed the mirror was a little bit foggy, as though from shower steam. There was a message written in the mirror. It said

"How bad do you miss me?"

I walked the fine line between being totally freaked out and super elated that my dad was communicating with me. I wrote another letter that night.

Haha I miss you more than you can possibly imagine, Daddy! Don't ever doubt that. But tell me, how are things on the other side?

That morning I woke up. The letter in the shoebox was gone, but I noticed a new letter near my door. It looked like someone slipped it under there. I opened it up. It said.

What do you want most from me?

I found it weird that my dad wasn't really carrying the conversation well, but I decided I'd write a quick response and go to school. I wrote:

Well, I guess what I want most is for you to come back and play with me like old times. But I know that's silly.

When I got back from school, I went straight to my room to check on the letter. I opened my door and my dollhouse (Yes, I like girly things.), which we stored in the attic, was smack in the middle of my floor. My mom had been at work all day, my brother was still at swim practice and my older brother went to the mall with his friend after dropping me off at home. I don't know who could have moved it... except maybe my dad. I saw a note next to the dollhouse. It said,

"PLAY WITH ME!"

My body froze. Something was unsettling about this whole setup. I didn't feel like I was in danger or anything, but I just wasn't comfortable. I walked to Niall's house and he was sitting in a couch on the front porch with his cat, Rufus, in his lap. I told him I knew about the letters he wrote to Zayn.

"Ah yes, sweetheart," he said. "Even though he's passed, I haven't stopped talking to Zayn one bit. He's was my best friend, and I want him to know how much I love him and how much Rufus misses the little tuna treats he'd give him. I write his almost every day, just updating him on my life so that when I pass, too, it'll be like he didn't miss a beat." He asked me if I was thinking about writing to the dead, too.

For some reason I didn't feel comfortable telling Niall that I had been writing to my dad already. I told her I was "considering" writing a letter to my dad and that I would try it out that night. He laughed, "OK honey. You'll have to let me know how it goes tomorrow."

I played with Rufus for a little while as older blonde talked on the phone with his brother. The sun started going down and I figured it was about time for dinner so I said goodbye to Niall and Rufus and walked back over to my home.

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